Who Are Your Friends? - Evaluate Who Influences You

I want to share some questions with you today on what to consider when evaluating your current friendships and moving into new ones. But first, please know that I am NOT saying we cannot be friends with people that aren’t at the same spiritual level or maturity that we are or even people that don’t know God yet. It’s more a matter of who you allow to INFLUENCE you in life. And often, the people we spend the most time with happen to influence who we are & how we live our lives quite a lot.

But even Jesus spent time with some unsavory people who later called Him master. But the biggest thing we need to remember with Jesus is He was STILL able to have an unwavering commitment to righteousness & NEVER compromised His own values or committed a sin. Jesus had a steady focus on what He was here to do & not get caught-up, but we as fallen people cannot match that level or righteousness. We surrender our lives to God every single day to more and more mirror the image of Christ, but we still suffer from downfalls. So we have to be more careful than Jesus needed to be.

Luke 5:31-32, “Jesus answered them, ‘Healthy people don’t need a doctor-sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.’”

Here are 5 Questions I would ask myself when reviewing my current & future friendships to determine how viable they are:

1. Are Your Friends a Reflection on Who You Are Working to Be? 
   1. Are your friends similarly working daily to adopt the attitude of Christ?
   2. Proverbs 13:20, “ Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”
2. Do Your Friends Challenge & Support You? 
   1. Are you able to be yourself around them?
   2. Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
3. Do Your Friends Live to Please the World or God? 
   1. Who are they trying to impress?
   2. Romans 12:2, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
4. Are Your Friend Respectful of Your Values & Beliefs? 
   1. Even if there is a difference of opinion (Christian or not), is respect still present there?
   2. Colossians 3:16-17, “Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father."
5. Are Your Friends People God Wants You to Have in Your Life? 
   1. Have you prayed about it? 
   2. 2 Corinthians 6:17, “Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you.”
   3. 2 Cor 6:17 (GW), "The Lord says, “Get away from unbelievers. Separate yourselves from them. Have nothing to do with anything unclean. Then I will welcome you.”

Transcript

0:03

Hello everyone and welcome to the Real Positive Girl Podcast. I am your host Sabrina, and I'm here with you as always talking about mental health mindset, all the struggles that go along with those things, how to become more vulnerable, how to become more honest, and how to become more self-aware so that we can all work on becoming our best self every single day. And I do that two times a week here. So welcome in if you are brand new, I hope that you find this episode and any other episodes that you listen to from the archives, super helpful to you. And we're going through today's episode or some in the past. I hope that you have time to pull out your Bible or have your phone and look up the scriptures that I am referencing as well. And really just like think and meditate on those things and maybe study them to see how they do coincide with the, you know, the episode that I'm sharing with you, but also how they fit into your life and what Christ is saying to you through those scriptures. So anyway, um, if you are not new, welcome back to the party. You know the deal. We are here talking about all the things, mental health and mindset with and minds with a, with a mindset. With a mindset. Talking about mindset with a mindset on serving Christ and being a Christ follower who is daily surrendering everything we are to, you know, become a little bit better at being a reflection of who Christ is. So today we are gonna talk about who are your friends, you know, evaluating who influences you. But before we dive into that topic, I do wanna steer your direction down into the show notes just really quick and see that you can go to the YouTube channel for the Real Positive Girl podcast and watch some of the video versions of the podcast. Slowly. It's becoming up to date, closer to episodes that have come out in the last two months. Slowly we're getting there, but if you do prefer to see my hand gestures, my funny faces, whatever it is, you can go there and watch those episodes. Also down in the show notes is where you can find me on social media. I'm at Sabrina Joy Perso on both TikTok and Instagram. So come say hi, let's be friends. Send me a dm. I would love it. Specifically on Instagram, I did start like a channel, like a broadcast channel you know, uh, thoughts from my own Bible study in devotional times that I feel would be beneficial to anyone that wants to join and jump in at that channel. Um, everything else I'm trying to show and share clips of the podcast there and then slowly but surely hopefully get into actually sharing Bible study tips and advice and things that I feel like would be helpful in regard to, you know, drawing near to Christ, which is like the overarching goal for our whole entire life. So take a look at all the things down the show notes. There's other things like sending me an email. Um, there's some other things down there in regards to uh, emotional venting. Yes, if you need to do that anonymously, you can definitely do that down there too and all the things. So take a peek at it, but let's go ahead and just jump into what we're here to talk about, which again is who are your friends, evaluate who influences you. So my goal growing up was to like be friends with everyone. Everyone. That was my goal. I wanted to make sure that I was on everyone's good side or at least like at a minimum neutral. But I tried to be friendly so if they they would smile. And this began even in elementary school all the way up through high school. And then when I got to college, I kind of assumed, which I tried never to do anymore, that since I went to a Christian college that everyone would just like me and everyone would have that like, you know, embodiment of Christ-like behavior and things like that. But even still, even as Christ followers we can still just not like people. Um, so I wasn't necessarily liked by everyone even throughout all of these years that I really tried to push that. But it was my goal, it was definitely my overall goal to be friends with everyone and you know, it didn't really matter. Also, um, more specifically growing up if they were like good people or not, I just wanted to be everyone's friend because I wanted to be accepted in every single social group that I might come across or something might happen to drive me to be with those people and have to interact. And so I just, I wanted to be friends like all the way around and it truly felt like I had to be accepted. If you've ever felt like that, it just felt like I needed to be, I had to be accepted and liked by everyone because it felt like it was for me personally, the only way to like stay afloat and stay alive in school because you know, it also meant that people were less likely to dig into like my home life and any, the trauma and the drama that was happening there. And so if they liked me, they weren't gonna try to like dig into who I was to um, bully me or to make fun of me or do anything like that. And that way I was able to keep everything that happened at home, like just far away and no one really knew anything that was happening at home. And you know, maybe in hindsight maybe if people knew it would actually would've been better, but you know, we can't dwell in the past. It just is what it is. So I wanted to keep all of that like covert locked up and I just wanted to be everyone's friend and I did, I did it, I did it really well. My whole thing was like I just needed to be Switzerland to everyone. I had really close friends and I definitely had some friends where we had a little bit of beef but not enough for us to be like, you know, spreading super nasty rumors or mean things about each other in the school. It never came to that and I was, that was really good for me. And so I just really embodied that goal and like fulfilled it so well all the way through high school I would say. And you know, in doing that I did end up in some trouble because I would just let myself get wrapped up in things uh, that I really shouldn't have all for the sake of like being accepted, being liked, being um, a part of all of these groups, at least on the surface level. And you know, there might be a little bit of regret there but honestly again, we learn so much from every experience and season of life that we go through that I'm just willing to be like, okay, you know, I went through that, I learned so much, I'm stronger for it. God help me get through those things. Let's just keep it moving, you know, so I just encourage you to reflect on your own time uh, of like how you used to act in regard to wanting friends. Like were you like me, were you a people pleaser and you just wanted to be friends with everyone or were you more like reserved and like super introvert where you just didn't wanna talk to anyone, you didn't really care about having friends, maybe you had one or two friends or maybe you were just really tight with your family and those were your friends. Like really just think about like how you went about getting friends then and then how you get friends now and just kind of like think like wow, what has changed For me, what's changed is simply realizing that I can't be everyone's friend. It's just absolutely impossible. And also I would say within the last year, six months, it's that I don't really need to be anyone's friend who I am. And I think a lot of us should embody that, but also with the grain of salt of knowing that maybe sometimes we might need to be checked into place, especially God by God if God's like, oh you think that's who you're supposed to be but you're really not so you need to flex over to something else and we need to like tighten this up. And you have to recognize that as well. So you just kind of like really need to lean into God and continually surrender everything and flex with him has he takes you on this journey that you're going through in this season of life and everything else that happens that moves forward. So just something really to like, you know, think about and pray about and consider so you can like become more self-aware in that way, you know? So for today's topic, no joke. Every time I tell you it's absolute truth, I'm not embellishing. I ask God for a topic to talk about today and bam, this instantly was on my mind and I was like, God, you are amazing. Thank you so much. We're just instantly, it's like an instant download. I was thinking to myself, I was like, man, does he have this like a list? And he's like, okay, yeah, you're ready for the next one, here you go. This is like the list of things that I want you to talk about and I think that's absolutely fantastic. So I asked God, he provided it's absolutely amazing. So friends and how we choose them and based on that and, and then based on like what, so that's really where we're gonna get into kind of talking about a little bit of the nitty gritty also to ask ourselves, are my friends, are your friends the people that I, that you should have in your life that I should have in my life? And if so, or if not, why? Like why do you feel that way? What leads you to those answers? Has something changed? Would you have answered that question three or six months ago differently? Really keeping all of these things in consideration and you know, based upon like the story that I told you and like you know, the personal connection section that I always start with at the top of the show, I do wanna tell you that we should not be choosing friends based on being accepted by everyone. And I'm sure that you know that I'm sure that you understand when I told that story, it's just like, no, let's not follow in the footsteps of what Sabrina is telling us. It's just like me sharing vulnerably and transparently like I, this is how I went about it really probably shouldn't have. So definitely let's not go about like finding friends that way. But I know that I didn't write this in my notes but it just came to me. I know that sometimes we can be so desperate to have friends that we will literally feel like we'll do anything to have people in our life just to have people to hang around, just to have people to sit next to, just to have people to text or have someone else be texting you on your birthday just so you feel loved and comforted. And I'm here to tell you that if you are that lonely and that hurting inside and that desperate to have anyone, regardless of whether they're positive influence in your life or not, you really need to dig into your relationship with Christ and pray and sit in his presence and cry out to God and just be honest and like you have to be honest cuz he already knows what you're gonna think, what you're saying, all the things and just really like spend some time and meditate with him and he could help you like get through that really deep pit of pain that you probably are experiencing feeling I've been experiencing this a lot lately but every time that I'm just like continually surrendering it to God, it just makes it so much easier just to keep going and be like, okay, it's fine. I will be blessed with the people in my life that need to be there and I'm not gonna worry about it cuz God's got this. So again, we should not be choosing friends based upon just needing to be accepted by anyone, especially as a Christ follow because we aren't called actually to like blend in and just be a part of groups just for the sake of being a part of these social groups. No. And just like being liked by everyone because even Jesus had haters, right? You know, like you read uh, good portions of the New Testament and they're talking about how they were talking about how Jesus is like not the son of God and how he's making all this stuff up or how he, how could he possibly be spending time with um, these like scummy, low lowlier than thou people. That's how they were describing them. How could he do that if he is claiming to be the son of God and all these things and like really hating on him and so we will endure people not liking us. And it took me a long time to really like actually accept that as like a full truth. Cause I was like, no, I can just skim on like the outer level of acquaintanceship and just be fine and everyone would quote unquote like me. And that's just not how we need to be living our lives. We just need to understand we will endure many people that don't like us, but that's not necessarily like what we're here to talk about. I'm not, we're not gonna go into deep about people not liking us. However, I do mention it because it's helpful to take that truth of understanding that not everyone's gonna like us, not everyone's going to be our friend with the understanding that sense we can't expect everyone to like us, we shouldn't not serve God and align with his will just to be accepted by others. You know, it's just like we're putting up a front like, oh these people that I wanna spend time with cuz it's the only people that are gravitating towards me to be friends. Uh, they don't believe in God or they don't believe in serving him or they don't find that as the highest priority to align with his will. And so I'm just gonna step away from that. And so if you have those thoughts like brewing in your mind, I hope alarm bells are also going off and being like, wait, this doesn't feel right. I don't think God would want this for me. And those kind of things. And so, because really like think about it, if we are willing to sacrifice our relationship with God for the sake of like a temporary friendship that's not even real and highly likely, not even with people we like, we're just really just desperate for friends. We probably aren't very committed to serving God anyway, right? And that's a whole nother topic that we can talk about another day. But I want you to be honest with yourself. It's like if you are willing to just throw all of that out the window despite everything that he's done for you, like really where are your priorities in life? Like what's going on? Like really like, okay, take a step back and just evaluate it. Like I'll like welcome you back with open arms. You just have to be honest and true and surrender everything to him. He loves us so, so much. So, um, let's jump into a scripture because I like to, you know, kind of like realign us with God's word to help it all frame in together and how it's all like within context and supported by the word of God. And if you ever were like, oh my gosh Sabrina, I don't understand how that verse correlates with what you're talking about, I always encourage everyone to go and read the verse, but then also read the whole chapter so you have the context of what it's talking about and how that would be related to what I'm sharing or what anyone ever shares if there are quoting scripture. Because sometimes I recently discovered this in the last few months. It's like people I, I felt, I felt and I just felt the Lord helped me to draw away from, you know, those resources for a while of people just taking a verse that sounds like applicable to what they're talking about, but it's way outta context if you actually go read the scripture and really like take some time to understand the context of the whole chapter and how that could still relate to like what they're drawing on for right now. Because you can still use a lot of the, like you, like the Old Testament isn't like necessarily off limits or anything. Uh, you can still draw things, but you can't just like be, you can't just like cherry pick certain things and make it apply to your life or whatever you're trying to explain. It has to like work within context. So anyway, just do the proper study. That's all I'm asking. So in the book of James chapter four verse four, it says, you adulterous, don't you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, if you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. And so just understand that often when we are seeking out friendships and people to be in our lives, those friendships, those people can represent the world and the things that they're trying to draw us into. All of these like really, you know, uh, unsavory things that we should not be involved in and it's just not aligning with what God wants for us. God's even like telling us, Hey, take a step back. Let's, let's not, let's not even like get up in any of these things, right? And so it's just a reminder that you have to realize that being friends with the world and what it's all about and being able to cut corners and lie and seat and chill, uh, lie and seat, lie and cheat and steal and being dishonest and you know, thinking that you can just be one way one day and another way another day and just flip flopping and having like two feet on each side of like following and doing what God wants you to do and then following what the people of the world want you to do who are not aligning what they do with God. You can't do both sides. You have to choose. I think you should choose the God side, but you have to choose. So today I want to share some questions with you on what to consider when you're evaluating your current friendships or when you're moving into any new friendships and and relationships that you have that come along in the future. But before we go into that direction, please know that I am not saying that you cannot be friends with people that are at the same spiritual level or maturity level that you are, you know, experienced and understanding of God in the Bible or even people that don't know God yet. Like, and not saying that you only have to hang out with Christian people. Like absolutely I am not saying that it's more a matter of you like who you allow to influence you. You know what I mean? So if you are spending time with people that don't know Christ yet or that are kind of struggling in being able to mirror the mindset and the behavior and the likeness of Christ and um, you know, maybe people that are really struggling with like a certain habit or addiction or something like that and you do wanna support them and you do wanna love them and you do wanna cheer them on, like I totally get that you, but you just have to be aware of how big their influence is on you. It's very, very important because often the people that we spend the most time with happen to influence who we are and like how we live our lives quite a lot. So I just want you to kind of like be on guard because we do need to go into the world and be a light and tell everyone about Jesus and you know, draw people closer to him. And oftentimes that's gonna be people that are not believers, that don't know him yet or feel like they can't be believers because of any sort of mistakes and failures and things that they were involved in currently or previously in their life. But you just have to make sure that you are really in tune with what God wants you to do, what he, where he wants you to go, his will for your life and how deeply you commit to these relationships and these friendships that you encounter every day of your life. You know what I mean? Um, because even Jesus spent time with like what they would consider unsavory people, right? And those people, like a lot of them end up calling him master later and so they were able to transform and change and actually dedicate and surrender their whole lives to Christ, which is absolutely amazing and I think is such a good way for us to realize that despite what we get caught up in, we can always just like lay it all down and just come back to Christ. But the biggest thing that we need to remember with Jesus is that he was still like no surprise, but he was still able to have like an unwavering commitment to righteousness and never compromised him like against like his values and beliefs, uh, or committed his sin. Like, you know, he was just blameless, you know, and Jesus had like that steady focus on like what he was here to do and not get caught up like we as fallen people, uh, people that have sinned maybe like multiple times can get so caught up in what the world's all about and you know, really feeding our flesh rather than like really feeding our spirit and our heart with the word of God and what he wants us to know. Um, and so we cannot match that level that he's on and that level of righteousness that Jesus is like just hitting, right? Right. We're, you know, we're like, we surrender our lives to God every single day more and more to reflect the image of Christ, but we still suffer downfalls. We just do. So we have to be more careful than Jesus needed to be because he was just like amazing, blameless, but we're over here like, okay, we still have to endure and some, some like struggles of our own flesh. So just kind of like be aware of that when you are going into the world and wanting to be friends with everyone, just make sure that you are guarding your heart and mind enough for you to still be a alive but also not to get like roped into like what they're, what they're doing. You know what I mean? Um, so in the book of Luke, this kind of like the scripture kind of illustrates what I'm talking about. The book of Luke chapter five, verses 31 through 32. It says Jesus answered them, healthy people don't need a doctor. Sick people do I have come to call, not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent. So of course we can't just spend all of our time with fellow Christians because that's not what we're here for. We're here to be a light for Christ to draw as many people as we can before we leave this earth to him, to him. So let me share some questions with you on what to consider when reviewing your friendships. But first, as always, here is my quick disclaimer before we jump into that. The dips and advice that I have shared so far and I will share are all based on my own knowledge and research and experiences and the I am allowed to share with their permission. And you know, if you find that what I'm sharing today just does not line up or just doesn't feel good in regard to like, you know, thinking about who your friends are in evaluating, like who actually influences you, I do encourage you to just seek out a chat and a time to hang out with someone that you truly trust and that you can be completely honest and vulnerable with. And that also might be a therapist or a counselor. There's nothing against that because I went to school to actually be a therapist and I see one every single week. And so just because we rely on Christ for everything, it doesn't mean that we can't also seek the support of these people that God has blessed us with in our lives. So maybe it's a counselor or a therapist, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's a spouse, a parent, whomever, you know, just like maybe seek out some counsel with them and figure out what would be best for you. But if you don't wanna do that, which I know a lot of people feel uncomfortable doing, I would say go to our best friend, which is Google, and just type in some keywords like positive influences, how to evaluate who my friends are, how to know if I have good friends, do my friendships align with my values and beliefs, like those kind of things like type in all those keywords, you'll find so many blog posts, other podcasts, social media, posts, videos, whatever research articles and that will help you better beyond your way if you do not, uh, like, or find what I'm saying helpful. And that's totally fine because not everyone on the internet is going to have the advice that you need for sure. Okay, so let's go ahead and jump in. Here are five questions I would ask myself when reviewing like my current and future friendships, your relationships to determine how viable these are and whether any changes need to be made to these in my life. So the first one is, are your friends a reflection of who you are working to be? Who you are working to be? So as I said, constantly every single day we are laying it all down. We are surrendering it all to Christ and you know, working to be a mirror image of Christ in his mindset and his behavior and how he is, we want to adopt that whole embodiment of of Jesus, right? So do you think that the friends that you currently have, are they reflecting something similar? Are they reflecting like who you want to be and who you're working towards being like already? Or are they on the same path of like, you know, continually laying it down and having to go through struggles here and there? Or are they doing something completely opposite and they're actually a reflection of who you no longer want to be, but they just happen to still be in your life? Really just ask yourself like, hey are are there people in my life right now? And you could have it like some division in there, you could have some neutral people that aren't really like working towards anything and then you could have some people that are the opposite and you can have some people that are the same or like, uh, ahead of you in that journey in life. And you know, it's really important to, I just had to think about how I was gonna say it. It's really important to know how important having that alignment with people in your life is because we are constantly working towards something and they're working towards the opposite. They'll often drag you down because when someone else sees someone, um, you know, hitting goals and moving up and actually growing and and strengthening, if they are not experiencing those same things, then they will want to tear down other people to make them feel better and also have everyone come back down to the same level so they don't feel like they're out of place. But even people that don't do that and they're like, ugh, whatever. It could turn into just relationships and friendships that aren't supportive and aren't loving and aren't beneficial to either one of you, right? Because they might need someone else that they relate to or they align with better in their mindset to help them to gradually like grow and strengthen in the same way and direction that you are. You're just not that person yet. Maybe you were like too far ahead for them and they're just sitting in bitter town just like, I can't do this. So really like evaluate if your friends are working towards being like who you kind of are in your mindset, in your growth, your personal growth and development in your mental health, things like that. Even if you guys have gone through different things, it doesn't matter. You just wanna like ask yourself like, are they reflecting the things that I am trying to reflect? And because if they are inspiring and they are encouraging, then that's great. Cling to those people for as long as you have them and however many seasons of life they will be with you. So in the book of Proverbs chapter 13 verse 20, it says Walk with the wise and become wise, associate with fools and get in trouble. So it's just like a direct, I love Proverbs and even Ecclesiastes where it's just like these, like all these like little nuggets of wisdom and knowledge and it's like bam, bam, bam. Lemme just spill out some truths real quick and you know, par for the course. Like, you know, walk with the wise and you become wise, you know, like the people that you spend the most time around, as I mentioned before, they're very influential on you and how you live your life and how your thoughts and beliefs and mindsets and even values can transition into like what they are and develop and change even. And so it's important to be aware of that because if you are associating with fools, you'll get in trouble. You know, you know, you won't focus on the things that you thought were most important because maybe they don't find those things as important or they kind of are bagging on you for thinking those things are important. And so you wanna fit in so you're like, okay, well I'll just be like you and it's just not what we're supposed to do. So are your friends a reflection on who you are working to be? Really ask yourself that. And just so you know, if they're not really consider like, okay, well if they're not, am I allowing them to drag me down or influence me in a way that is not benefiting me? And am I strong enough to continue in these relationships, in this friendship for me to again, not be influenced in a negative way, just saying, uh, number two, do your friends challenge and support you? Do your friends challenge and support you? I think it's important to have friends that challenge and support you that really push you, that help you, uh, be held accountable for the things that you say you're gonna do. I feel like at least in this timeframe in the world right now, uh, at least here in the United States, in this society, it's often for people say they're gonna do something and then they don't do it. It's just all for like the hype. And people just want to, they wanna have the clout and be like, oh yeah, I'm gonna do this, or I was told that I'm gonna get this, that and the other. And then they never actually follow through and you know, they could because they don't have the people that are there to hold them accountable. They don't have the people there that are ch to challenge you or support you in like what you're going towards, right? And so I feel like some people when they don't have that, they do turn to like wanting to impress everyone and, and just, you know, saying things for clout so that they can look like they are supported in getting all these things and accolades and like the shining star when really they're not, they're kind of full of it. So just like really think about are the friends in your life challenging to you? You know, do they, do they call you out when you are wrong and you're kind of like going down the wrong path or making not the best decisions? Do they support you when you feel alone, when you feel like no one else cares? Or when you're having a hard time and you can't shift out of this really negative mindset and you're just sitting in your pit of despair, are they there for you? And remember that being there for you doesn't mean that they just know when you need it and then they just offer the help. Are you able to ask them which you should be, ask them for the help and support and then they're there for you, right? So are you able to also with people that are supporting you and challenging you, are you able to be yourself around them? Are you able to just like bust out in a worship song if you wanted to or to share a scripture with them or just to pray with them or just to offer some knowledge or wisdom that God has passed to you onto them? Are you able to just be who you are? Be silly, be loud, uh, be giving like whatever it is, be shy. Are you able to just be your yourself around them too? That all correlates with like having people that are supportive, having people that are challenging, having people that help keep you accountable in the book of Proverbs. Yet again, as I told you, it has so much wisdom and knowledge in the book of Proverbs chapter 27, verse 17, it says, as iron sharpens iron. So a friend sharpens a friend. Did I say iron? Oh my gosh. Okay, so as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. So again, you have these people that you, um, spend time with that are really influential of you because they're being challenging and supportive and that'll drive you to be challenging and supportive and accountable to each other. And then those same things to other friends and other groups and other seasons of life. And it just spreads like wildfire in the most loving, caring, beneficial, Christlike way, which is absolutely fantastic. Okay, so number three. Do your friends live to please God or the world? Do your friends live to please God or the world? It's a really basic question. Are they out there trying to please the world? Are they out there trying to impress everyone else or are they laying it all down for God? Are they like taking a step back from things that God's telling them that they don't need to be involved in right now, that aren't beneficial to them? Are they taking breaks from certain people? Are they changing their lives in the way that they think about things and the way that they digest things? And like, are these people living for God or are they living for the world? Are they living for the validation, the external validation? Are they living for the pats on the back? Are they living for, you know, all the bonuses and all the raises and everything and their name and lights? And I know that some of these things you can desire out of your heart while also being humbled, like believing for the longest time I believe that at work that I should get a raise, um, because of like how much hard work I do and attention to detail and focus. And I felt like there were definitely times where I felt bitter about it, but there are a lot of times where I just reign it in and I just truly believe that I am worthy of this raise. And then I did eventually get it, but it's like, as opposed to really complaining, really like telling people online like in an inappropriate way, you know, uh, kind of being salty or having an attitude about it at work or maybe end up quitting your job because you, you don't feel like you were recognized enough. Um, and just all of these things really just living for the world, living for these temporarily like feelings and boosts of adrenaline and endorphins and just feeling so, I don't know, above and beyond like high, right? And so it's just so much better when you have people in your life that are truly living for God because when they speak, when they share the things they do, and not to say that they're perfect and they won't make mistakes and they won't struggle, but they're like highly focused on having everything aligned with God. They're highly focused on really being in tune with the Holy Spirit, like, you know, keeping them in check and correcting them. They're really focused on wanting to develop and deepen that relationship with God and praying and studying their Bible and sharing that with people as well and asking God like what they should do and how they should go. And also stepping out in faith and then being open and available and ready for the flexibility of God to change the path and the turns and the curves that you're on in your life. So really just be like, oh yeah, are my friends pleasing the world or pleasing God? Who are they trying to impress? I think that's a really easy question to ask yourself to really define that. Who are they trying to impress? Which brings me to one of the most common Bible verses in the entire Bible from Romans chapter 12 verse two. It says, don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. So don't be of this world. Don't try to be like other people. I have to tell myself all of the time to not try to embody all the people that I see on social media or all like the famous people that have all the houses and the money and the cars and the fame, all of these things, even people that I know in real life, I need to stop myself from being like jealous and being like all bitter that they have these things before I do, even though it feels like I should have had it before them. When feelings and emotions are not the things that should drive you, those are not the things that created you. Those are not the things that have helped you through all your struggles and and and strife and everything that you've gone through. No, that's God. So we need to rely on God to tell us who we are, what we're all about, what we can or can't do. We can do everything through Christ, maybe not in the way that we thought we would, but we can instead of allowing our emotions to just like dictate our whole entire life. You know what I mean? So I love that scripture and Romans 12, two because it just, it's such a good solid reminder from Paul that hey, don't act like the world. That's not what we're here to do. We're here on a mission to be a light for Christ, to shine it everywhere, draw more people to him, kindness, love, all of these things. And that is our mission. So don't try to be like these people that are not doing the good things, but be a good encouragement and inspiration for them of Christ working through you. That's what, that's what we need to do. Okay? Number four, are your friends respectful of your values and beliefs? Are your friends respectful of your values and beliefs? You know, even if there is a difference of opinion, Christian or not. Now often there will be a difference of opinion if you are talking to someone that does not yet know Christ or maybe has had, does not know Christ in the way that would benefit them most, right? So, cause I know sometimes people will say that they've been a Christian before but they ran away from it or they decided not to do it anymore because of whatever, whatever, whatever experience. And I just truly feel like they didn't have the right experience actually surrendering and giving their whole life to Christ and that they need to do it again <laugh> and again and again until they're able to just fully commit and give their life to Christ. Of course. But so often, like if you have a difference opinion with someone that is a, that's not a Christian, does not know Christ yet, or someone that is a Christian, is the respect still present there? So I would say that even as a Christian, if you tell me something that I do not feel like aligns with my personal values and beliefs that I am basing off my relationship with God, I even though I don't agree with it, I would definitely want to tread lightly and be like, Hey, so can I share with you a verse that I feel like hits with how I feel and how I live my life? And then see if they say yes. Cause you don't wanna like just be like shoving it down their throat and be like forcing your beliefs and what you think and how you like study and examine um, scripture and things like that and what God tells you. You can't force that on them, right? Cuz we all have our own relationship with Christ and I believe that's gonna differ a little bit cuz some people are able to handle maybe going to the movie and seeing like slasher films, like horror films, right? And then there's gonna be other people that that just disturbs their spirit so much that they can't take that and that's fine. We're just, they're just gonna differ on these different levels to, you know, really continue to hold tight to Christ while, um, still like involving yourself in some like, you know, fun things in life and other people that's just not it, it just can't be for them. It just drags them down kinda like slowly trying to pull Christ out of them and that's not what they want, right? So everyone's gonna be different. So someone might come to you and be like, Hey, I think it's a sin for you to go see slasher movies or horror films or like whatever it is. And you might be like, well it doesn't really bother me and I don't find that it like disrupts my spirit and I have pray and just, again, I don't, I don't watch those kind of movies. Um, I used to though growing up and then something's just like snapped. Like when I left high school I could no longer, it was just too much. It would just like overwhelm me. But if someone was gonna come at you and be like, Hey, I think like what you're doing is of the devil or sinful or whatever, um, this often comes up when people like, even like Christian to Christian are talking about how Christians, uh, shouldn't be watching Harry Potter or I know for the longest time, um, other, just like other, uh, things that just uh, embody and talk about witchcraft, whether it's in this like make believe way or they truly think that they're trying to actually push that, you know, thoughts and mindset and beliefs on people. Um, there's a lot of Christians that just watch Harry Potter and they just think of it as this like fun fantasy, you know, uh, think of CS Lewis and the lion in the witch in the wardrobe where that was all like, was it allegory or something? I, I forget the actual litter literature term, but that was all fantasy, right? And so it's like, okay, well if believing that a lion could talk, like is that, is that sinful? Is, is that something that we need to repent from, right? When he actually, you know, develop that whole story, um, with like such a strong knowledge and mindset of being Christ-like and knowing the word and the scripture and dedicating his life to Christ. So it's just so interesting how we can all have differing opinions and viewpoints and perspectives and sometimes some people's perspectives are like this and other people's are like this and other people's are like this. And like it's just, it's like where you operate, but also there are some people that have it like this where they should bring it in a little bit because they're letting too much in and they're allowing themselves to uh, be vulnerable, to be influenced in the wrong way. Sometimes it just depends. It just depends like person to person. What I would say is you need to listen to the Holy Spirit and you need to listen to what God is telling you to do and uh, align with what he's telling you and then you'll know what needs to happen. But we still should be respectful whether we agree with what they're doing or not, uh, with our values, their beliefs, like what they're going after. Yes, you wanna share how you feel and how you feel like that's not where you are at in a respectful kind way. And then hopefully they'll respect you back and they won't just like try to curse you out or yell at you or anything or defame you to other people because you don't believe the same thing that they, that they do that would not be Christ-like behavior, right? It's like yes, even Jesus was like, you know, calling people out and be like, listen, you need to dedicate your life and you need to uh, no longer sin and turn away from your bad ways. Um, but he wasn't being a jerk about it<laugh> and he wasn't trying to uh, push other guilt or shame on people to uh, try to make them feel bad and embarrass them in front of everyone. Like that was not his, his intent. And so I think that if we go about our lives again, continually every single day, surrendering everything that we have, then we are to being a, uh, a reflection of Christ and who he was, then we'll be able to have these conversations with people, Christian or not again, and respect their beliefs and values without feeling like we need to agree and embody them and just have those conversations of understanding people's different perspectives and how, you know, really like how they live their life. And that's really, really important to have those times when you just chat and understand that other person's perspective, right? So there's a lot, there's a lot in that. So even if there is a difference of companion Christian or not, is respect still present there In the book of Colossians chapter three verses 16 through 17, it says, let the message of about Christ in all its richness fill your lives, teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives, seeing Psalms and hems and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father, giving thanks through him to God the Father. Sorry. So this is so good because it's like let the message about Christ and all it's written richness, like fill your lives, like everything that Christ has taught us and is shared with us. Like let that fill your heart and your mind. And when you're teaching and counseling other people, you know, use the wisdom that he's given you. Use all that knowledge. Allow him to lead you in the conversations of what you say and what you don't say. And then also at the end of the verse, I love it. That like do and whatever you do or say whatever you do or say, even if you have to check people and like where they are, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father, but do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus. So we can't just go off on these rampage and tell people that they're terrible people and that they need to change their lives or be like those people. Have you ever been to like Las Vegas or like another big city? I'm trying to think of another big city where they were doing it. Uh, I think it was happening in like Anaheim or Los Angeles where you'll see those people on the street corner and they'll have like a bullhorn and then they'll have like a poster and they'll literally feel like they're witnessing but they're yelling at people that they're all sinners, which we all are sinners, but that, you know, really yelling and kind of like harassing people and it feels kind of like shame inducing when they're like, you need to, you know, turn away from your ways and follow God and like having some random scripture sometimes it's usually like John three 16 or whatever it is. And I just don't believe that's the way to go about it. I don't believe that's the way to be a light in the world. I believe that one of the best ways to be a light in the world is that when you are really going through it, when you are really struggling and life just really, really sucks, then still holding onto God, still like leaning in, still having peace and joy despite the fact that you are in the middle of a tornado and you feel like your whole life is falling apart. That is the best way. This is like one of the best ways to be a light for Christ because you are still clinging to him despite whatever experience that you and you are demonstrating that you can still have control over your feelings, still have peace and joy and grace in the hardest times. It's easy to have that in the, in the best times and even easier to have it in the neutral times where everything is fine. But when you're in the pit and you feel like you got locked in there, you're in the lion's den, you feel like someone is about to just like kill you and eat you for breakfast, that lion, you're like, okay, this really sucks. Feeling worried, but no, let me give it to God. Let me release it to him. Let me just have peace and about this whole situation, God is going to, you know, he's gonna reign. He's gonna, he's gonna do whatever he needs to do. I have faith in him, total faith in him. And that is like one of the best ways to be representative of Jesus, I believe. Not like yelling at people on a street corner that they all need to like, you know, repent from their sins. Like what if you are trying to like berate someone that actually does like, you know, lay down their life every single day for Christ and just like really wanna take up that mantle, that and that and that, um, desire to reflect who Christ is. It's like you can't, it's just, I just don't think it's the best way. So I don't know, I don't know how, oh, I, I think I got off on a tangent on that because I was talking about how we need to do it as a representative of Lord Jesus, which I feel like does shift me back to what I was trying to talk about last week really quick was like what would Jesus do really having that question that, that that thought in your mind all the time. Like how would Jesus go about this? Like truly how would he, and if you don't know then just read the Bible, read the New Testament, so many things he shared and how he would go about things, pray to him, ask him how he would and just align with that as opposed to just making up your own thoughts of how God would do something, how Jesus Not the best way. We should not assume anything in life. Like we should not assume anything. It should just be like a rule for everyone.<laugh>. Okay, so number five and the last one I have to share with you today is, are your friends people God wants you to have in your life are your friends people God wants you to have in your life? This is a hard question because if you are so attached to someone that you love them and you care for them a lot, but you know that they are not a good influence on you or they're always trying to drag you down into things that you should not be a part of that are, don't align with what God's will is for you. It can be really hard to let those people go and sometimes it's only for a season because God will like strengthen you and you'll be able to resist the temptation a lot better and then maybe you can have them back in your life and then see how it goes, right? And I know everyone's like, okay, well I don't know how I would tell that person, Hey, you know, God says I can't be friends with you anymore. Let's not be friends. I definitely think it's a better way to go about it and I definitely think there's like a way to just like wean yourself like quickly away, take a break, whatever. But there are gonna be people in our lives that we just allow to continually like break us down and not in a good way, not in a way of being like built back up but just be broken down and burdensome and overwhelming where we just need to like cut them loose and let them go cuz they're not benefiting us and we are not being a positive influence on them because they're just have no no interest in listening, understanding, knowing anything that we would wanna share with them about Christ. So sometimes we just need to let those people go. And I would ask you, have you actually prayed about it? And a lot of times, not just with this, but with a lot of times things that we don't want to pray about, it's because we kind of already know what God is gonna say or we're fearful of what God will tell us to do, which usually is the fear of like having to give up whatever that thing is. Having to take a step back, having to be like, oh God, I know you don't want me to do this, or I know that I probably shouldn't be involved in this. I don't really wanna ask you about it because I know what you're gonna say but you feel like you do right? And maybe God will surprise you and be like, no, you just need to shift it in this way. Great, but we should never be afraid to come to God if we do have those feelings. It's like the Holy Spirit's already telling you like, listen, get ready to cut the cord. You need to move on for a bit. Let's take a break. So you gotta pray about it no matter what. You should just be praying about the people in your life and how you can influence them positively and how you can be a light in their lives and whether they should be in your life. Or maybe you should spend just less time with them and more time with other people, uh, even people that God hasn't brought into your life yet that he's about to. But you need to make room for them <laugh>. Um, but especially if there is uncertainty there of like, oh, I don't know, I'm not sure about this person in my life. Definitely pray about it. Pray about it while you're washing dishes, while you're driving the car, while you're taking a shower. Whatever special prayer time during your devotional time, Bible study time, pray about it. Ask God, he'll tell you. He'll lead you to an answer in whatever way he chooses is best for you through him. And he will let you know without a doubt. Uh, so I wanna share with you one last scripture, which is from Second Corinthians chapter six, verse 17. I have two versions of it that I wanna share with you that I think will be really helpful if the first version feels a little off. Although all the versions that I generally share are from the New Living translation, which I prefer that translation the most. However, I will share the translation of the God's Word Bible. If you'd never heard of that, it's absolutely fantastic. I noticed the other day when I was tidying up that it's actually like right here. Cause I was like, where did that Bible go? I typically will look up that translation on like bible.com because they have like all the translations and you can look at like one verse parallel to like so many at the same time. I think earlier today I looked at a verse with five different versions of it just to like under have a deeper understanding of like older English and like modern times English and all of these things. Anyway, you have never, um, I know if you're not watching the video, you're probably like, I don't know what you're talking about. So when you do see the video one day in the future, or maybe you'll see this clip on Instagram, this is the God's word Bible. And I actually took this bible from my dad when I left to go to Bible college, uh, because it is such a fantastic translation. Now, I still hit on the new Living translation because I do like the way that it, it like just equalizes both like some old English and current and it just, it feels good to read, right? But this one is like, I would say the closest thing that you could get in my personal opinion to the message. But it still has like verse by verse cuz you know, if you read the message it'll often clump a bunch of verses together so you're not able to just like identify specifically like It's just like a big paragraph summarization. But I feel like that God's word translation is just like looking at it right now. It just feels like it's the closest thing to the message where it's very clear English and actually looking on the inside of this, it literally says, uh, that he got this July 8th, 1990 5, 19 95. Yeah, I took this with me because I had this and I think I had like the N I V or something and I took it to college with me because I knew it would be helpful and I still have it to this day. And I actually don't know if he knows that I took it <laugh>. I think I did end up telling him like a year or two after I was at school. Okay, so last one, second Corinthians chapter six, verse 17. This is the New Living Translation. First, therefore come out from among unbelievers and separate yourselves from them says the Lord. Don't touch their filthy things and I will welcome you. Okay, second Corinthians chapter six, verse 17 in the God's Word translation. The Lord says, get away from unbelievers, separate yourselves from them. Have nothing to do with anything unclean, then I will welcome you. The importance of me sharing this with you is like when we're talking about asking God if the people and the relationships that we have in our life are things that we need to have in our life right now, for this season of life or forever, whatever the case may be, it's important because God does want us to be separated. He calls us to be set apart from all the drama around trauma that's happening in the world. To be a light for him, to be the utmost holiest, to be like this nation, this set of people that he has set aside to, to hi, like, to like fulfill his will that he has determined and needs us to align with. And so in this scripture, you know, it's talking about how we need to not get all caught up in what unbelievers are doing and trying to draw you into that you should not be a part of. And I just really thought that reading the God's Word translation, which again it says the Lord says, get away from unbelievers, separate yourselves from them, have nothing to do with anything unclean, then I will welcome you in. It's like really deciding to separate yourself. It's not that you can't still speak to them, be a light in their world, uh, uh, be a light for Christ in their world, encourage them, but it's just like you're not gonna be fraternizing with them. They're not gonna be like your besties. You gotta keep that distance so that you are able to keep yourself as close to an um, uh, a reflection of Christ as you can. Especially if you're just not very strong in, um, warding off temptation yet. But we do get stronger and better at that as God helps to strengthen us, as we rely more on him and deepen our relationship with him and everything like that. So I just think that's a really helpful verse. But that's it, that's all I have to share with you today in regards to who are your friends and evaluating who influences you. So thank you so much for listening to The Real Positive Girl podcast again, me, Sabrina, I really hope that this episode has helped you. I know it's been long and they're kind of getting a little bit longer, but I just feel I can talk forever. But I probably need to pull back just a little bit. Send me your feedback, um, on socials or email. I would love to hear it and just see how you feel. Um, the email just is real positive girl podcast gmail.com. But until next time, have a good one and I will see y'all next time. Bye friends.