Are You Taking Action or Hiding Out? - Mindset Skills

Show Notes:

Do you find yourself taking action on things you say you’re going to do? Or are you more likely to say you’ll do something but actually will cower in fear or hide out from it until you’re forced to deal with it or the possibility disappears entirely?

I ask this question because oftentimes we think it’s enough to just think about doing something, even when there are plans involved, and believe it’s going to happen. Somehow. 

But it won’t. It’s because you didn’t put any action into your plan.

James 2:17, “So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”

Even when we rely on God to lead us in our lives, we still need to do our due diligence in moving forward with actions and know that God will guide our course. 

If you get nothing else from this episode, I hope you at least walk away knowing that one of the best ways to overcome the paralysis of not taking action is to have faith. Have faith that God is ALWAYS there for you and have faith that whatever you are putting off isn’t going to be world-ending. The outcome might really suck and lead to setbacks & struggle, but there is ALWAYS something to learn from those experiences. 

Today I want to share with you some ways to start taking action if you feel like you’re stuck hiding. 

1. Define Your Intentions
   1. Get clarity in what you want to do & understanding of what it will take to get there.
   2. Make sure what you want to do aligns with who you are & what you want in the future.
2. Address Your Fears
   1. Be honest about what is actually going on.
   2. Ask yourself what it would mean to experience all those fears & deal with the worst-case scenario.
   3. Joshua 1:9, “This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
3. Manage What’s Getting in the Way
   1. Identify what else is in the way (people, job, money, ability, understanding, availability, approval)
   2. Dive deeper into problem-solving the obstacle & ask for help.
   3. Philippians 4:13, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
4. Evaluate & Manage the Expectations
   1. If there are expectations from others, make sure everything is explicit and align with your capabilities (skill set, time, money).
   2. If you have expectations for yourself, make sure what you want to do is for the RIGHT reasons & not too heavily influenced by someone else. 
5. Create a Plan with Accountability
   1. Know the general path of where you’re going before you jump in. Create milestones to celebrate along the way.  Make sure your plan aligns with a reasonable timeline & available resources.
   2. Find someone you can depend on to check in on you & make sure you’re still moving forward. 
   3. Proverbs 16:3, “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.”

Transcript

0:03

This is the Real Positive Girl podcast and I am your host Sabrina. And you know, I'm very excited to be chatting here with you and we love to talk all about mental health mindset, uh, all the struggles that you're going through, like how to work towards becoming more honest with yourself, you know, cultivating more self-awareness and really just digging into being more vulnerable because those are the things that are really gonna help you become your best self every single day in life. And we do that two times a week here, except when there's like a random holiday or something happens, which did happen last week where we missed an episode. But here we are back again. And so if you are new, welcome in. And I hope that this episode that you're gonna listen to today is really helpful and kind of helps you focus in on what you might need to grow in what you can recognize is a, an amazing strength. And maybe just enjoy the banter in the chatter that I will provide to you talking about a mental health topic in a more relatable way. That is my hope and that is my goal. If you're not new here, welcome back to the party. I'm so glad that you are here. So today we're gonna talk Chad about are you taking action or hiding out? And truly I got this inspiration from like some notes that I'd made on a previous devotional in the last week and it really stuck with me of like, wow, you know, a lot of times we say we're gonna take action but then we don't. And so why and what is hindering that? But before we dive deep into that, as as always, I want to invite you to take a peek down into the show notes and see if you would like to come follow me on social media. I am at Sabrina Joy Pozo on both Instagram and TikTok. So go ahead and check that down in the show notes on how to spell that. Come be friends, come follow on, send me a message. Let's like converse online and really develop that community that I am hoping and praying for will become something someday. It's just more of like we all have to participate in me. I need to participate even more and figure out how to foster that as well. So check that out. Also, uh, there is a link to the newsletter that's kind of on hold right now, not like officially, it's just more of like, I'm trying to decide what would actually be most beneficial to you guys and what I was doing before, I just didn't really feel like I was really hitting with anyone. If you feel differently, please send me an email. Also, if you go down into the show notes, you'll see where you can send me an email, you can see where you can watch, uh, the video versions of some of the podcast episodes that are slowly being uploaded. You can go and see the journal that I created that's for sale on Amazon. There's so many things that you can take a little peek at in the show notes below. So check all of those things out if you have a moment. But let's go ahead and dive right into what we are talking about today, which is are you taking action or are you hiding out? So I've mentioned before in the past probably on a lot of episodes, let's just be honest because I am here to be totally transparent and vulnerable and honest with you about where I'm at in life. And how I got there and how I'm trying to like transition out of it away more close if it's actually the place that I need to be. I don't know, you know what I mean? But often I've mentioned how I am the grandest of the grandest procrastinators. Like literally it's, it's like I could go to the Olympics for these like ridiculous coping skills that a lot of us just like, you know, latch to. And I think that I would win the gold medal for being like the top procrastinator. It's ridiculous. And I think deep down I used to actually like four reels for reels, find some sort of like deep seated enjoyment in last minute just to see how well I would be able to throw it all together at the point where I actually had to follow through with what I was supposed to do. Now this is like not the most ideal way to go about life at all. I don't recommend it, but it's just where I was, how I was coping and how I really now, like in hindsight, I don't think I knew this then at all, but in hindsight I think it was also chasing like the dopamine high of being like, oh my gosh, you know, I only have so much time and I put it off in the end. Why did I do this to myself? But then like you get so you get so excited in, in, in just such a rush from being able to get it all done at the last minute and that can be kind of addicting. So procrastination definitely the queen of that really am trying to like pull away from that. I've pulled away from it a lot. So there is growth there. Uh, but I have mentioned, you know, in not taking action because of procrastination, which I feel was like my prime spot to be <laugh> and live in life. But it's not always that you know, the reason that we don't take action on the things that we want to do, the things that we've told people we're gonna do, our intentions, our dreams, our wishes, our whatever that we have in life, it's not always just procrastination for why we don't take those necessary steps. Actually follow through actually like make those dreams come true. Uh, sometimes it's fear, right? And that's a really common one. Sometimes we are just so fear and fear can stem from like so many different places in our life, right? It just really depends on like the season of life that we're in and also like so many different experiences and whatever we have been forced to experience and whatever choices that we made. All of those things like mesh together make this big soup of like all the fears encompassed in why we would put off taking action on things we actually want to do. You know, cuz sometimes it's like not just fear but sometimes it's like really big fears and sometimes it's really small fears and not that any fear is better or worse than the other, it's just like how dynamic that they take up space in your brain. It also can sometimes just be like a lack of drive and motivation. Maybe you don't have any accountability. All of these things you feel like you absolutely need for you to take that first step out and actually take action on the things that you wanna do and not be hiding like in your comfort zone or off to the or or just literally on like the first step. Cuz it's like that's the easy part making the decision maybe actually like writing your name down or or signing up for the course or telling someone you're gonna do it and then like, and then the real work begins. Do you know what I mean? But you know, other times it could also just be overwhelming, like the idea of actually taking the steps. It's like fun to be the visionary and just dream things up. But actually taking the action steps to make things happen and actually have to do all the nitty gritty and understand all the nuances of the choices that you're going to make and really be all in on what you wanna do that can feel very overwhelming. Very, very, very overwhelming. So again, it just depends on what you're going through. You know where you're at in your personal growth and whether you have cultivated end of self-awareness to really understand deep down like why you are making the choices or not making the choices. But not making a choice is also making a choice. Just zoom in on that. Not making a choice is also making a choice because you're not doing anything and you might think that you're like, oh I'm just gonna like, you know, count this one out cause I'm not gonna make a choice at all. You're still making a choice to not make a choice to not participate, to not actually actively participate in your life. Just a little aside, okay? And so it's just really important for us to cultivate self-awareness, work on our personal growth and we will be better at understanding the reason why we get caught up in these struggles. Not all the time but a lot of time. You know what also helps prayer,<laugh> prayer can also help you too. God can help en like enlighten you and provide you with knowledge of what needs to change for you to get to where you would desire if it aligns with his will for you. So just something to keep in mind. And you know, we all struggle differently though, right? Differently And you might feel like, wow this is kind of coming outta nowhere. Like we're talking about not taking actions and now struggle differently. It all melts together I promise. It's like queso in the pot. You're like, I thought we were making a soup. Sometimes soups have cheese. I don't know, I don't know where we're going but we all struggle differently and some, you know, just understand that something that like rolls right off your back and you're like, that doesn't bother me at all. I don't have any fear over that. That doesn't cause overwhelm me, right? It just, just like rolls right off your back could actually paralyze someone in fear fight or flight. They, they're just like, oh my gosh, I can't do any of this. I need to hide away in my comfort zone. And it's just important to acknowledge that when we're talking about the reasons why we're not taking action, why we're not moving forward, why we are allowing fear or overwhelm or lack of motivation or any of these things to get in our way of taking action steps. It's important for us to acknowledge that because you know, we don't wanna get caught up in thinking that what we are struggling with, what our reason is for not taking action doesn't matter as much as someone else's or should not be deemed as a struggle, quote unquote, or as a problem. Nope. We need to like not even have that as a worry or a consideration in our mind or that what we are experiencing is something that we need to be ashamed of. Often we'll retreat in shame because other people have said something negative about us, uh, acknowledging that whatever we're dealing with is a struggle and they're like, because they see what you're struggling with as less than what other people are struggling with or whatever, or even what they're struggling with, then they want to, you know, try to induce shame in you even though you can make the choice to not allow yourself to like fall into the slump of shame. But a lot of times it's very difficult, especially people are just like pressing in on you and like, oh my gosh, you should feel bad for feeling whatever way you are because I don't see it as something worthy of you to feel at all. And it's like who are you to make this decision? Like what, what? Even if it's someone that you respect, it's still like what? You've overstepped your bounds. So it's just important for us to all like recognize that, acknowledge it, understand that whatever you're going through matters and whatever you're going through is not anything to be shameful of to feel guilty about. It's just what you're going through and that's the bottom line. And so we should embrace it and be vulnerable and courageous enough to acknowledge it and accept it and figure out how we can continue to just keep going, not give up, keep walking through it, right? And you know, ideally the best we can do is like acknowledge the best we can do is acknowledge our differences and learn from each other. That's like the ideal outcome that I just hope will spread everywhere one day, one day. But to get us back on course of what we're talking about, I just wanted to make that very special acknowledgement of it's okay, whatever you're going through, you're going through, you'll figure it out, we'll all figure it out. But to get us back on course on what we're talking about today, I want you to ask yourself, do you find yourself taking action on things that you say you're going to do? Do you find yourself actually taking action on on the things that you say that you're going to do? Or are you more likely to say you'll do something but actually will cower in fear or hide out until you're forced to deal with it? Or the possibility just ends up disappearing because just moves along and you just, you just miss out cuz you don't like take any action, right? Which, like, which camp? Which side, which kind of like lifestyle<laugh> do you live in? Do you actually take action And maybe you're like most of the time but sometimes no and that's why I'm listening to this cause I wanna understand better like what's getting in my way? Great, but maybe you're on the other side where you're like, yes I do constantly, continually forever say I'm gonna do stuff and then I don't follow through for like whatever reason. Great, I'm glad that we're all here and even if you feel like you are just so over like set with knowing how to take action on things, I'd be really surprised if you're still listening now. But if you are, maybe you're hoping that you're gonna learn something that you didn't know or you're listening to help someone else, whatever the reason is, I'm glad that you're here, I'm glad that you are here. Um, but I just wanted to ask that question cause Reid actually like honestly take a moment to consider where you're at, what you feel like you're struggling with and then it'll help you better identify like which of the pieces of advice I'm about to give you will actually apply and work best for you. So also I ask this question because oftentimes we think it's enough to just think about doing something right and think about this phenomenon. Cause when I was actually writing this down I was like man, I've been here, other people have been here but why? Why are we here? Why, why have we been here? So people think that you can just think something's gonna happen and then it'll happen even when there are like plans involved, you're like I'm gonna get this job. Here is the plan on how I'm going to get the job, who I'm going to like network with, interview with how I'm gonna write my resume video, I'm gonna set all these things right? You create a plan, you're like I'm gonna get that job right? But then you like don't, you don't do anything. You've already done like a lot of the legwork but you don't take that first step of like, okay, let's go network. If that's like the first step in your plan to get that new job, you just think that like, okay now that I've created the plan and I've thought it through, it's just gonna happen somehow. And I'm not even talking about manifestation which episode cuz I have some thoughts on how I don't like manifestation at all. But that's not even what I mean though. But maybe some people would consider it that way. They just think like okay I'm just gonna continue to hope for it and it'll happen. And that's different than actually helping and praying and believing with God in within his aligning with his will that something will happen. Even then you still have to take action even then. So I'm not exactly sure how anything would actually come of just thinking and wanting it to happen because wishing isn't like a real thing yet. Somehow we still continue to do it and believe that it will work out. You know what I mean? And I just wanted to like really acknowledge it because it won't, I really wanted to acknowledge this like phenomenon that we think that we can just continually hope for something and have the same goal year after year and expected it to just randomly happen to us by fate or wishing or just drop it in our lap. But it won't. I'm just telling you this is the honest truth and I'm sure you know this to be true from anything that you've just thought that you wanted or you've wished for and you thought that one day that you would do or accomplish or achieve or whatever, but it actually hasn't come to pass. It's just not there. It's not ex, it's non-existent and it's because you didn't put any action into your plan. And I'm not saying that anytime you put action into your plan that the thing you wanna get, you're gonna get, it's just more likely that you're gonna get closer to the possibility of having it, achieving it being whatever it may be. In the book of James chapter two verse 17 it says, so you see faith by itself isn't enough unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Faith without works is dead. I don't know what translation that is. That might be like the new King James. I don't know. Anyway, that's another way to think about it. You have to um, it's not the same exact first anyway. You get what I'm saying? You have to take action even in the Bible it tells us that we have to take action, we have to do our due diligence of doing something when we want something to happen, when we have a goal, when we have an intention to follow through with. Because even when we rely on God to lead us in our life every day and seeking him and really just like clicking in with that, we still need to do our due diligence and moving forward with actions and know that God will guide our course. So it's like not even just like Christians out here, just like hoping and praying that something will happen work. No, you still gotta do the work sometimes even more work cuz you need to allow that trust and belief to continue to grow in God that he's gonna come through for you cuz he will. And it may not look, look exactly as you pictured it exactly how you had put on your vision board but in the best way and the way that he knows will benefit you the best and his kingdom. So just consider that and just know that. So we still need to do it because God will lead us and guide us in what we need to do. We still have to take the actions and in taking those actions, sometimes the directions that we need to take to get to where we wanna go, that is aligned with God still isn't clear, right? Because it could have to do with like the relationship that we have with him and maybe there is something lacking there or something that we need to work on or God is really seeing like how well we trust him in the situation of just jumping out there, taking steps, maybe feeling very uncomfortable, shaky, almost like there's a wrong turn. And then having the trust and hope and faith in him that he told you to go this way and you did and then he will swoop in and help you. It is a good testament to all the amazing glory and everything that he does. So just note that Christian or not, you still have to do the work, you still have to put the actions in or you're gonna get nothing. You're gonna get nothing. So I just want you to know if you get nothing out of this episode, cause I know that we're almost 20 minutes in and we still haven't gotten to our list yet, but we're getting there almost. But if you get nothing from this episode, I hope that at least you walk away knowing that one of the best ways to overcome the paralysis of not taking action is to have faith just straight up. Like if you're like, girl, this episode's too long already for me, then just take that away. I'm serious. Please walk away with the knowledge and understanding that you gotta have faith and that will help you to take action. It truly will because you know, I wanna encourage you to have faith in God of course that he is always there for you and have faith that whatever you're putting off isn't going to be world ending. So I want you to have faith in God that he's gonna continually be there for you and prepare things for you and lead you and guide you and, and um, help you with whatever you want. But also, if that is not your jam, then I want you to at least have faith that whatever you are about to jump into will not be world ending. It won't. I promise you it won't. The o the outcome might really really suck. Let's just be honest and it might lead to you struggling or having to start again or having setbacks. But there is always something to learn from those situations. Mistakes and failures are our best learning lessons and that's not comforting right now at all. I totally get that. But that is something to acknowledge of like, okay, well if this is go sour, I'll still learn something and understand how to do this thing better or how I needed to go a different way or whatever it is or, or that maybe just committing my life to Jesus and aligning with God's will would actually just be better either way <laugh> like that's what I would hope for you. But you have to just like not allow the fear, the overwhelm, you know, the, the procrastination, the lack of planning, all of these things to get in your way of taking action on something that you actually truly want. Because I believe that if you don't take action on something that you want, you don't truly want it, you don't want it enough, you don't want it enough to take risks and jump out there and ask God for it and find out if, and like really like do the work of taking actions and and asking if it of lines with his will and like trying to figure out to do it the best way. You just don't want a bad enough if you're not gonna take the actions. If you're not gonna take the risks, you're not gonna put yourself into it. You might be like, oh Sabrina, I can't for whatever reason. Okay, maybe you actually have real reasons and not excuses, I don't know. But I want you to be honest with yourself if those are reasons and not excuses. Cause a lot of times it's just excuses because of fear, because of not wanting to do the work, because of not wanting to stretch ourselves and change and grow and become our best selves. I want you to really be honest with yourself. I want you to ask yourself, okay, I just want you to like really dig in because this will really help you. Plus also remember that not taking action really drives stagnation, which means you're not going anywhere. You're just gonna be stuck there. And it might start actually feeling like quicksand because the longer you stay there, the longer the more you feel stuck and unable to like unroot yourself and move forward and do what you need to do. You know you're not gonna get where you wanna go if you don't actually try to drive the route. You know, maybe we're back in like 1995 and you didn't get to print off your like MapQuest directions<laugh> and you're like, gosh, I don't know where I'm going, but they told me it's by this thing and I think I kind of know how to get there. Just go take the roads that you know, stop at a gas station, ask for directions, figure it out. You have to at least try. You might think that you're safe because you don't try and you're like, oh my gosh, at least I didn't like try and go through all of these mistakes and failures. But then you didn't live life fully. You didn't experience, you didn't actually learn anything. You didn't push yourself. You don't know what you can accomplish. You don't know if you just naturally know how to navigate and do things you don't know if you can just naturally just jump into whatever it is. Okay? Anyway, oh I feel very passionate about this. I'm sure that you can see that. So today I do wanna share with you some ways to start taking action if you feel like you are stuck hiding in your comfort zone or in the safe part of the, like the planning that you've created to achieve this goal, this intention to move forward with this desire and this dream, whatever it's, but first I have to give you my quick disclaimer. So the tips and advice that I'm about to give you are all based on my own knowledge and research, my experience and the experiences of others that I am able to share with you. If you find that what I have been sharing and what I'm about to share does not align with what you believe will help you best in learning how to take action and no longer be hiding out, then that's totally fine because not every piece of information on the internet is going to align with what you need right now in the season of life and the struggle and issue that you're going through. It just won't. It may be inf like my knowledge has helped you in the past but it's not helping you now or it hasn't helped you in the past but it is helping you now. It just doesn't. You just don't know. It just depends. So if you feel like it doesn't align with you, I do encourage you to seek a counselor or a therapist and they can help you with that one-on-one time to figure out what would best align with you to figure out how you can actually step out and take actions and no longer hide. You don't wanna do that, that my next suggestion is for you to go to our best friend Google and type in the keywords how to take action or dealing with procrastination, dealing with uh, fear and just really dig into like the podcast, the blog posts, uh, the social videos and scientific research, all those things that will help you figure out what would best align with you figuring out how to take action that maybe I'm not able to share and connect with you today. Totally fine. Okay, let's jump in. Like I said, we are going to talk about some ways to start taking action and no longer allow yourself to hide out. We have five, we're gonna go through them quick because they're very understandable, very like, like clear. I just need to remind you of them to be honest and I think you'll like them. The first one is to define your intentions. Define your intentions. So it's like your intention, your dream, your goal, your aspiration, whatever it is the thing that you need to take actions on, you need to define it, it needs to be clear. Oftentimes we don't take action because it's not clear exactly what we're going after, what we're seeking, what we're wanting. Like you gotta have clarity. So get clarity in what you wanna do and and the understanding of what it will take to get there. Not necessarily the whole laid out plan, but like knowing like okay you wanna be a doctor and you're in high school now knowing how many years of school you have to go through knowing like what are the best medical schools that you can go to and do you need to get loans for that scholarships? Do you need to start volunteering certain places? Do you have a specialty in mind? Do you have a plan on like kind of gaining interest in a specialty by the time you get to like whatever level of education, you know what I mean? Know what you need to get to where you're going so that you have as much information as you can and the preliminary period to actually like want to take those actions. Cause that's a lot of, that's a lot of the reason why we don't take actions is because we something sounds amazing but we don't actually do the work to figure out like what it would take to get there and whether that actually is something that is clear and a true desire of ours. Okay? And then make sure that what you wanna do aligns with like who you are as a person, your values, your beliefs and what you want in the future. So if you're like, oh I wanna be a doctor, but then one day you also wanna like go to the moon, you gotta figure out how those things align. I'm sure they do somehow maybe, I don't know. But if that's like you have these two goals and they feel very far apart, can you figure out a way for them to connect? And if you can't, maybe you should like think again. Like okay, maybe that's not the thing and that's okay, that's totally fine. Just gotta make sure it all aligns and it's gonna work in group together. Number two, address your fears. Address your fears. So whether it's fears of failure, fear of other people's opinions, fear of making the wrong choice, feel fear of falling short of expectations, whether those are yours or someone else's. You really need to address your fears. You really need to just like be honest about what is actually going on. I say it so like I feel like every episode now lately, if you can't be honest with yourself, you are truly not being honest with everyone else. There's no way. There's no way. Listen to me clearly, if you are not being honest with yourself, you are not being honest with anyone else, not fully, not clearly, not completely, you're not, you're not. I'm willing to, I'm willing to put money on it, you're not. So I want you to try to do that. It might feel so uncomfortable, it might feel so against what you normally do and who you feel you truly are. But if you aren't able to be honest with yourself about what you're struggling with, what your fears are, what's getting in your head, what's getting in your way, then you're gonna have a really difficult time moving forward, taking action, you know, achieving those goals, feeling good about it, getting through any other struggles and setbacks that will come because we all go through a myriad of those things in different lights depending on what season of life we're in, whatever. So address the fears, be honest, at least to yourself, at least the minimum. And then ask yourself what it would mean to experience all of those fears and deal with the worst case scenario. So if you do have a fear of making the wrong choice, going the wrong way, doing the wrong thing, it didn't work out, it was a mistake, you should have listened to whatever advice, right? You didn't do enough. Whatever it is, you made the wrong choice. Okay, what would that actually mean? That you have to start over. That you might have, I don't know, spent more money than you should have that you know, you, you trusted the wrong people. I don't know. But really imagine like what that worst case scenario would be and really ask yourself like really, truly, honestly, again, we're back to honesty. Would it actually be that bad? Is it worth it? Is you actually achieving your dream intention goal, desire worth having a sent back that's only temporary that you can recover from in whatever amount of time and then continue to move forward. Only you can decide that to be honest. Don't let anyone else decide that for you or else it's just not done in the most honest way. Really ask yourself, okay? And this is really for you to dampen the fears that you have because when you actually imagine the worst case scenario in a more logical way of like, okay, well if that happened then what would I do next? It really kind of breaks down the scariness of it and you're like, okay, we kind of have a plan, we have an idea of how it's gonna go and it's not gonna be as bad as I thought. That's generally what I'm hoping that you'll feel and that you'll think. And then you need to cultivate a growth mindset. A lot of times we are so, so caught up in fear is because we're, we're like trapped in a fixed mindset where we believe that if something doesn't come easily or naturally or there are two, there are like, you know, stumbling blocks in the way that it's not meant for us or we that we can't do it and we can't have that attitude. There's always like a different way to go about it. You need to maybe ask for help. Someone has a different perspective, like whatever it is. So we need to understand that if we cultivate a growth mindset that tells us that we have, we can continue to work at things, we can come to a point where we need to step away cuz it's just not working out and we're just not destined to be like top ballerina at the big like New York City ballet, but maybe we can still like do ballet on the weekends cuz it's fun and you just wanna do it as a hobby cuz you like it. So having a growth mindset, allowing yourself to learn, to fail, to make mistakes, to grow from those things and continuing to develop in that way address your fears. Also before we move on to the next one, in the book of Joshua chapter one, verse nine, it says, this is my command, be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord. Your God is with you wherever you go. God was empowering Joshua, she's like, don't be afraid, be strong and courageous. I've got your back. And so if you are dealing with fear, I want you to take that verse and just like write it down and memorize it and have it as your comfort, your blanket when you're scared. And know that if you give your life to the Lord and believe in him and have faith and trust, he will be there for you all times, every time. Number three, manage what's getting in the way. Manage what's getting in the way. So beside your mind and emotions that we did talk about already. And then we're gonna come back to in a second, identify what else is in the way. So maybe it's people in your life, whether it's like a relationship, like a platonic or romantic, maybe it's parents, friends, siblings, boss, mentor, neighbors, whoever. Maybe they're in the way. Uh, coworkers that could be in the way too sometimes depending like maybe you're trying to get like a promotion and they all be all up in the way. So determine is it them? Is it your job? Like what you do, where you work, what you currently are involved in. Maybe it's money, maybe you need more, right? Uh, maybe you need a different way to get capital. I don't know. Maybe it's your actual like abilities. Maybe you don't have the skillset yet, right? To do what you wanna do. Maybe you just don't understand it. You're struggling to learn what it would mean to be able to do this desire like you want it, you're like, oh my gosh, it'd be really cool. But you are struggling to understand what it would take to get there, what it would actually mean when you got this skillset, got this job, uh, this dreaming goal. Like what would happen next? Maybe it's availability. Maybe you are struggling to actually take time to take the action steps, right? Or maybe it's approval, maybe that's a combination of like approval and like a person that maybe you are being like, I don't know, managed inappropriately by someone else and they're telling you that you can't like take action on the stream desire, goal, intention or whatever it is because they think that they own you. They think that they are in charge of everything you do. You know, they are just manipulating you, micromanaging you, Whatever it is. Identify what's in the way, what is the struggle, what is the rock? What is the stumbling block? What is the object, the obstacle that it's getting in your way? And then once you identify it, whether it's one thing or multiple things, dive deeper into problem solving the obstacle dive deep. Take the time to really figure out like, okay, how can we do this? Do I have to wait it out a little bit? How long do I have to wait? Should I have to wait that long? Is it worth it? What should I do? Push yourself to also try alternative ways. Maybe things you haven't thought of or ways that seem like, oh I don't really wanna have to do it that way, but maybe it's worth it to do it that way. And then ask for help when you know that you need it. And I say when you know that you need it, there's, there's gonna come a point where you know that you need help, but you're gonna continue to try to do it in your own strength because you're just being stubborn. Just you know, skip all that. Be efficient and productive and just ask for help. Ask for help. You'll be much more respected if you ask for help when you actually need it. As opposed to continuing to push yourself and strive to figure it out on your own and then ask for help later when you really just wasted a whole bunch of time. It's like really? Why'd you let your ego and your pride get in the way? You should have asked for help? Ask for help. We all need to ask for help more. And that way it'll build a community in the world for us to depend and be able to lean on each other and it'll be like more utopian like esque where we're like supporting each other and not trying to take each other down. You know what I mean? Problem solving alternative ways and asking for help when we're figuring out and managing like what's getting in the way. In the book of Philippians chapter four, verse 10, in the book of Philippians, chapter four, verse 13. It says, for I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength for I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. Christ will work through us to help us achieve the things that align with God's will, the things that we want, desire, need, whatever. If we depend on him and do it and know that we can't do anything in our strength and we can, but we can do it in his, which is the most magnified, glorified amazingness, then why wouldn't we just do it that way? Just know that if you feel like, like something someone is in your way, you give your life to the Lord and trust in him, he will help you to manage it, move it outta the way, go through it, go around it, go above it, whatever to figure it out. Because you can do anything through Christ cuz he gives you the strength to do so. Number four, evaluate and manage the expectations. Evaluate and manage the expectations. If there are expectations from other people, whoever it is, spouse, friends, kids, volunteers, uh, bosses, whoever, whatever people in your life, make sure everything is explicit and nothing is left out. Meaning that it is actually voiced and very direct and just like laid out. These are the expectations. Make sure that all their expectations are laid out. Unknown expectations are like one of the worst things to deal with in life because you just, you don't know and they have an expectation but Or sometimes, sometimes I even talked about this in therapy today, they don't know that they have expectations. So if you're able to get good at like asking leading questions of like, okay, I'm gonna do this, do you have expectations? No. And you're like, okay, well so you're not looking for this, you're not looking for that. This is not necessary, blah, blah blah. Like really having those leading questions to see if you can uncover any unknown expectations that you might think that they have. And sometimes you might think that's a trap cuz you're like, but, but if I bring them up and then they all of a sudden have that expectation, then that's not good. Well then you just have a opportunity to talk to 'em and tell 'em, well that's not a realistic expectation. So make sure the expectations align with your capabilities, like your strengths, your time, your money, your availability that they have on you. And if they don't then you need to say something. Because if you decide to just put yourself in this really tight space that they're putting you in with these unrealistic expectations, you are guaranteed to fail and not do well. And that's not fun. When you have the opportunity to go against that and figure it out. If you have expectations for yourself, which a lot of us do, we may not even realize it. Make sure you make sure what you want to do is the, for the right reasons. I can't stress it enough. Make sure what you wanna do is for the right reasons and not too heavily influenced by someone else. I say too heavily because sometimes like we can be influenced to do really, really great things by amazing people and that's good, but sometimes we can be heavily influenced to go a certain way to, we don't wanna go because of like whatever threats, manipulation, micromanaging, like whatever it is that pushes us to do those things. So make sure you're not too heavily influenced or you could be influenced by your own like jealousy or envy or desire to be just like someone else. So even those kind of things that actually don't really involve anyone else because they don't know that you are jealous of them or that you're using them as some sort of desire and want. You know what I mean? Like you want the life that they have. This is why I love social media, but sometimes it's just, it's a little dicey. So you wanna make sure that you are not too heavily influenced by the wrong things, someone else. And you wanna make sure that you're doing whatever you are going after for the right reasons for you. And it doesn't mean that it has to be the right reasons for that person or that person. It needs to be for you. For you. And you know, I want you to know that there will be seasons in life where you can do certain things and then other seasons of life where you can't do certain things. You just can't. You can't do one and you can't. You can do them at this point but then you can't do it later because circumstances have changed your, your schedule has changed. Your amount of people to take care of, whether it's your friends, your family, your kiddos has changed, your strength has changed, your availability has changed, okay? So despite being able to do those things in the past, you might not be able to do then now. And being able to, to now, even though you couldn't in the past, that also happens. So you don't wanna just automatically assume based on history of whether or not you can move forward and take action on something and whether an expectation will work out for you or not. You have to reevaluate it every single time because life changes all of the time. All of the time. So evaluate and manage the expectations, the ones other people put on you and the ones that you put on yourself. Number five. Number five. And the last one is create a plan with accountability. Create a plan with accountability. You, this might seem simple and expected, but it's a reminder cuz reminders are key for us. Know the general path of where you're going before you jump in. Know the general path, right? You don't know, you don't need to know turn by turn directions. Just generally like I'm heading north for 10 miles, that's where I'm going. It's like, no, generally like, uh, I'm gonna go here, this part, there's a few winding roads, that's where I'm going. You gotta know that before you jump in. You wanna create milestones to celebrate along the way as well. Milestones, progress points, however you wanna look at them. And that'll also keep you synced up with what to do next. Cause a lot of times we won't take actions on things we wanna do because we don't know what to do next. We haven't decided, we haven't created a plan, we're not aligned with what needs to happen. We don't know what's up next. You know, it's like when you have navigation on in your what to do next and then what's gonna happen after that. So you're kind of like already like, oh okay, this is what to expect. I need to get into the right lane. And then when I do turn right, I need to get all the way over to the left because I kind of need to know what's happening ahead of time so I don't create some sort of crazy car crash or traffic delay or whatever or miss the turn and have to go all the way around the block and try again, right? So you wanna know where you're going, kind of have like an idea and keep you synced up so that you don't give up. And then you wanna make sure that within like having milestones that'll keep you motivated and keep of like know the next place you're going. You wanna make sure that you give yourself a reasonable timetable and that you can actually do it with the available resources. Sometimes, and this happens a lot when you know people wanna go to school and they don't have the money to go to school. Um, but they want to go or they feel like they have to go or they're being told they have to go and so they get loans. This was me, we had no money and I had no like financial like, like understanding training. I never talked about that. Not in school, not my dad, no one. So I was not financially savvy at all whatsoever.<laugh> or responsible. So I took out so many loans, still paying them back, probably will pay them back until I'm, I'm like, I've left this earth unfortunately. And that really sucks for my kiddo cuz she'll get slapped with those bales and no one wants that. But I just decided, I was like, I need to go to school, I need to get away from this drama. I need to go to school to do a job that I did not, and I'm doing kind of, sort of, but not really. Not really. And I just, I wanted to do that, but I didn't really have the available resources or I could have at least had the, I could have at least still taken all those loans but really had a better handle and understanding of when I should start paying those. When I have made this kind of whatever income, even if that's like partway through college and stuff like that. And really understanding the magnitude of the decision that I'm making as opposed to just being 18 and being like, let's go. Let's go to a private school that costs twice as much as other local schools, despite even still being outta state, still could have paid a lot less. You know what I mean? So anyway, just make sure that you understand that what you want, you're prepared for, you got a plan, you got an idea of where you wanna go, what you need to do, milestones, progress points to check off along the way to create motivation. Make sure you can do it in in make sure you have a timeline that's reasonable and not rushed and make sure that you can do it with your available resources that you're not finding yourself stuck, not having what you need or overburdening yourself very quickly, especially later in life. Also, it's important for you to find someone that you can depend on. I wanna emphasize, depend on to check in on you and to make sure that you haven't just given up for like no reason that you've tried to continue to push, push, push until it's unnecessary and then you have to give up. Sometimes we do, sometimes we just let it go, fall away. But you gotta find someone that you can depend on, someone that actually is gonna put a reminder in their phone to call you, text you, check in on you, actually get updates and then tell you to keep going and encourage you and push you to not give up. Make sure they and and they will make sure that you don't slack off. So you wanna find someone you can depend and maybe you don't have that person in real life. Maybe you have a community online that you can ask someone. Maybe you've been an online friend that's super common these days. I have some online friends and maybe you have such a good relationship, you can ask them to be that accountability partner for you. Or maybe you can get multiple, if one person is only able to check in with you once a week and you need more than that, you can just line people up or you can do it. Um, you can reciprocate with someone else. I don't typically like that because I feel like it's easier just to kind of like allow your guys to slack off. If one did and or you both did, you're kind of just like, oh well, whatever. No one else will know. I kinda like to keep it separate. That's just my view on it. You can do it whatever way you want, of course. So make sure you find someone that can be your accountability partner. And to finalize all of this, let me close with reading from the book of Proverbs. It's getting crazy over here. Let me read you from the book of Proverbs chapter 16 verse three. It says, commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed. Commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed. It's an amazing reminder that if we give our life to the Lord and dedicated to him and become a shining light, that he works through us and that we spend time and develop a relationship with him and make sure that what we're doing is aligned with Him, with God and our desires are aligned with his will. Whatever we commit to the Lord, whatever we give to him, whatever we're like, Lord, I really love to become a doctor and be able to go to doctors without borders and help people and spread the word and tell people about Jesus and do all of these things. Give your plan to the Lord and it will succeed. Again. It may not, this might sound like a disclaimer, but it's like it may not actually fully come through as the picture that you put on your vision board that you saw in your mind. But it'll be amazing nonetheless because it'll be what it would be best for you. Because he knows what's best for each of us and we think we know what's best for us, but we don't, a lot of times we don't. A lot of times what we think is best for us is because it was best for someone else and we think that we want their life. So copy paste and that's what we want. But that's not true. God knows what we need. He knows we just need to continue to like or start. If you're not there, start trusting him and have faith in, and have faith in him or continue to have faith in him and believe that your desires, he wants those things to happen. You just need to give him the opportunity to have it happen in the way that he knows would be best. And it's really hard to trust people because a lot of us just wanna be in control and want it and and are so caught up in our ego and our pride that we want everything to be through our own strength, where the best things come with God working through us. I'm just saying. But that's it. That's all I have to say for this episode. So thank you so much for listening to The Real Positive Girl podcast again with me, Sabrina. Do not forget to check the show notes below to say hi to me on socials, to check out the YouTube channel, to go to Amazon. Check out the journal that I created that will help you with your mindset every day. What else is down there? Emailing me, suggesting a topic, anonymous, venting, all those things. So check them out and I look forward to seeing you next time. But until next time, have a wonderful, wonderful, awesome day my friends. Bye.