Your Top 5 Excuses For Not Seeking Personal Growth

Show Notes:
We often will consider our own excuses to be reasons because we don’t want to admit that we aren’t doing what we should be or that a mistake has been made. 

But honestly, it doesn’t matter what you decided to tell yourself to mask the truth, it’s still an excuse you are trying to pass off as a reason to avoid something you need to just find the courage to face. 

In the book of Joshua, God is raising up Joshua to take the lead, now that Moses has died. And God is telling him several times to not be afraid, to believe that God has led him to this point & has his back. God also reminds him to follow in the ways Moses taught him because these are instructions God gave to Moses. Basically, do what God tells you to do & everything will turn out as it should.

Joshua 1:9, “This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

If you stay still too long, you might lack the experience & abilities needed to move onto that next season, the next level in life you’re supposed to ascend to. God is going to be there to help you with everything, but you STILL have to do the work.

Proverbs 13:4, “The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.”

Desire to have something will only get you as far as your mind can take you. But that’s not enough to make it happen. You have to take action.

Here are your top 5 reasons that are actually excuses for why you’re not seeking any personal growth:

1. Blaming External Circumstances
   1. It’s common to blame the environment you grew up in or the environment you’re currently in for why you’re not pursuing personal growth.
   2. We also can blame other people in our life that we claim are getting in our way of seeking personal growth.
2. Lack of Motivation
   1. Instead of developing discipline we often lean on motivation to always be there to pick us up & keep us going.
3. Past Failures
   1. It’s reliving the pain that happened in the past & allowing those experiences to prevent us from trying again, whether it’s the same thing or something new.
4. Fear of Judgement
   1. It’s fear of judgment, other people’s opinions, and being rejected that prevent people from working on themselves because they are so wrapped up in worry & anxiety of the worst-case scenario happening.
   2. Proverbs 29:25, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.”
   3. Galatians 1:10, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
5. Lack of Awareness
   1. Some people really aren’t aware that they should be working on themselves to become their best selves.
   2. Or they aren’t sure WHAT to work on.
   3. We should try to be working on something we know will benefit us. Just because there isn’t anything that is broken doesn’t mean there isn’t anything that couldn’t use a tune-up.

Transcript

0:03

This is the Real Positive Girl podcast and I am your host Sabrina. And I'm here chatting with you about your emotions and your mindset and your mental health struggles and how to take those first few steps on how to become more self-aware and more vulnerable and more honest about everything. Cuz if you are not honest with yourself, I highly doubt that you're being as honest as you can with the other people in your life. And we do talk about this two times a week. So welcome in. If you are brand new, I hope that you will really enjoy the tips and advice and the chit chat that I have about the different topics. Also, um, I have been recently weaving in really helpful Bible scriptures and verses that could help you, um, on your walk with Christ if you are a Christian, and, uh, spending your time in this world to be a light and to be like, have Christ-like behaviors. So, um, again, welcome in. If you're not new, we'll come back to the party. You know what to expect when we are here. And you know, today we're gonna talk about your top five excuses for not seeking personal growth. Because as great as it is to have advice and tips on how to, you know, go and seek personal growth and development and the tips for us how to better certain things, which there are many episodes about that, if that is exactly something that you need, I encourage you to go back into the archives. But in addition to also doing that work, it is important to know why we aren't doing that work and why we are kind of at a stalemate. We're at the, we're experiencing this stagnation in our life and that's why I find it very important to also have episodes to discover why and what's holding us back. Because once you understand why and what's going on and what's getting in the way, you can work harder to not allow those things to get in the way. And it's not to say that those things won't continue to pop up in your life that try to distract you or take you off course, it's just you will learn how to better deal with those things. But before we really get into talking about that topic, I do want to invite you to take a peek down the show notes because it'll give you all the information that you need to come follow me and say hi and become friends on Instagram and on uh, TikTok. So I am at Sabrina Joy Pozo and again, if you look down in the show notes, you can see how to spell that really long name and I would love to say hi to you. So send me a dm, follow along. Um, I would, uh, tell me something interesting about you. Let's start a conversation in the dms. I do really wanna build a community around this podcast cuz my desire isn't just to like talk and everyone listens. I wanna actually get to know you guys and help you. Uh, I feel like I can help you better once I get to know you guys more. So go ahead and take a look at that. Also, there is the link down there for you to go to the YouTube channel where I am slowly putting up video versions of the podcast. And again, if you continue to like push through the video quality does get better I think around, uh, episode like four 80 something. So just continue to push through, it's gonna get better and uh, that's gonna be a really great resource once I get caught up. And if you wanna see all my crazy, uh, you know, actual like gestures with my hands and my facial expressions, it's, it's, it's quite entertaining. So look at that. Also look for signing up for the newsletter, which I might change the way that people get the newsletter. Like I might not have people sign up anymore. I might just like provide a link on Instagram for comes out and cuz it hasn't been coming out consistently. But also, um, it's, I just want people to go to it and not feel this pressure of having to sign up for another thing. So anyway, you can still sign up there and I can, I'll still send it to anyone that's on the newsletter list, but kinda be on the lookout on my Instagram for me sharing a link on Mondays for the next time that it's released. And it's kind of like developed in a blog format with lots of, uh, video embedded and like little mini lessons getting caught up on behind the scenes and things like that. Uh, so yeah, just take a look at the show notes. There's way more things down there for you to take a peek out, but let's go and dial in to actually what we were talking about today, which again is your top five excuses for not seeking personal growth. So there was a time that I would consider the excuses that I gave for not seeking personal growth. Uh, I would actually see them, or not just personal growth, but like anything in my life, if I was choosing not to do something in my life, uh, I would often come up with a lot of excuses that I would see in my viewpoint, in my perspective as reasons, but I was wrong. And I think a lot of us can get caught up in that in thinking that the reasons that we're giving are actually, we don't realize their excuses. And then when we are called out for them being excuses, we get rather defensive. And it's because that we're so wrapped up in our own, we are so wrapped up in our own insecurity and these fears that we have that if anyone's challenging us and saying that our, what we think our reasons are excuses, then we decide to put on this guilt in shame and want to try to cover up that we know that they're correct, but we don't want them to be correct because we are and the consequences that will come with that knowledge getting out. And you know, I lived with a victim men, um, victim mindset, a l hot on a lot, a lot of things, uh, for a long time for quite some time because I hadn't learned how to really become self-aware, which is why I talk about it so much now because it is such a crucial part of really just being alive and understanding who you are and what you're all about and how you can take next steps to become your best self every single day. But yeah, I hadn't learned how to become self-aware and not allow the shame and guilt to crowd my mind so much that I couldn't bring myself to be responsible and accountable for my actions. Meaning I was trying to, you know, paint a pretty picture on my excuses by calling them reasons and the excuses that I would often use just to be completely honest and transparent, which I often am here, I would often be very manipulative, uh, so that it would garner some sort of sympathy from like whoever I was speaking to, whoever I was needing to share my quote unquote reasons with. There were actually excuses and it's easier for people to let things go, uh, when they feel bad for you. And that's the honest truth. And so a lot of my growing up in elementary and middle school and sometimes even high school, I was definitely very manipulative because it's, it's what I knew and it's like the way that I chose to survive. And I'm not saying that that's like a good thing, it's just what I knew at the time. And so looking back I'm like, man, it's too bad. But we all learn from our past so we can't sit around and be like, oh my gosh, I wish this didn't happened. It's just, it's just what happened. We learn from it, right? And so, you know, you know how I, uh, sometimes if you are not new here, you know how sometimes I will mention that I was really manipulative growing up. This is the kind of thing that I was talking about. It's like this is just like a, a, a blip on the whole scale of the things that I would be manipulative with because it was a way to keep myself safe and to get the things that I needed and I would do my best to twist people's emotions to always be seen on top. I would. And you know, it's not the way to live at all whatsoever, but I'm telling you this because if you are currently living life like this or have lived life like this in the past and are fearful, uh, sorry, fearful of, uh, people knowing that that's true or you know, you are stuck under a pile of shame and guilt for all those things, I want you to know that you can be free from those things by just letting them go and allowing yourself to just learn from those things and not allow those things to hold you back. Because yes, we have all done things that we regret and we shouldn't have done in the past that were really bad, but we have the power, uh, inside of us to not allow those things to hold us back, right? And even more so when we dedicate our life to Christ and are, you know, living our life at the Christ's like mindset and behaviors, he can also help us to no longer live our life in the past because our life is renewed through him and realized that we were, you know, put here on this earth for a bigger purpose. And if we are continually, um, you know, seeking God and you know, doing his will and you know, really getting dialed into what our purpose is through him, then we no longer have to worry about anything that happened in the past. Because if you read, like I would say almost any part of the Bible, you'll realize that all the people that God used, uh, you know, they were busy or they did too much or they, they were troubled and they, and they did a lot of things that they shouldn't have. But God still used those people because he knew that his forgiveness and freedom and um, wonderful glory could still be seen through these magnificent people that were still broken and kind of, um, I don't know what the word would be like, kind of like labeled as as uh, people that did these terrible things. But you know, we could all be redeemed, uh, through Jesus. So it's just absolutely amazing. So I want you to know that like just because things have happened in the past does not mean that you can't move forward, uh, with a clean slate with the ability to become, uh, an even better version of yourself and do even more than you thought you could, especially if you give your life to Christ. So I, I I feel really bad that that's the way that I live my life, but I'm not gonna allow that to hold me back. And you shouldn't allow anything that you've done in the past to hold you back from what your future could be. So in regards to excuses that we allow, um, to keep us back from seeking personal growth, we often will consider that our own excuses, our reasons. Because we don't wanna admit that we aren't doing what we know that we should be doing or that what we're engaging in is actually a mistake or that we need to admit that we made mistakes and that we failed and that uh, we have to come to terms with maybe certain people in our life knowing this truth. But we don't want that to happen, right? Because a lot of people live life despite the fact that we like, you know, consciously know that no one is perfect. We still want to be perfect. We still wanna push ourselves to be as close to perfect as possible. And it's like these two dueling thoughts where we know we can't be what we still wanna try. And it's just, you know, when you live your life, uh, being Christ like you know that there is no way you're ever gonna be perfect cuz only Jesus was perfect and so you just wanna like do your best. But even then, I do feel like even as a Christian sometimes we can our best, uh, too much because we are trying to do so many things in our own strength, you know what I mean? But we often just don't wanna admit like the things that are going wrong or that we don't wanna do. And it's the fear of admitting that we have flaws and that we are scared to do something or we're afraid to ask for help. And I have experienced all these things. It's probably, I, I feel like out of all those things that I just listed, I think I fear asking for help the most because I used to live a life with a mindset that that would show so much weakness, right? And you don't want to show someone weakness and give them a foothold and an opportunity to you know, um, say negative things about you or to look down on you or to think that you are less than they previously thought because you don't know how to do this thing that maybe they feel is very common or easy to do or easy to change in your life. You know what I mean? Cuz we get so caught up in what people think about us and how we are viewed by other people in our community, in the world in general. And it's a hard way to live life to be honest. Um, but you know, honestly it doesn't really matter what you decided to tell yourself to mask the truth of all these things that you don't want people to know. Cuz it's still an excuse that you're trying to pass off as a reason to avoid something that you need to just find the courage to face. And you might feel like this is very harsh of me to say that you just need to find the courage to face these really difficult things, but it's the truth. And if I spend a lot of time being so like nice and soft and you know, very like passively going about it, I don't think that would help you realize how important it is for you to just figure out a way to move straightforward and not have to like go this winding path of like slowly passively understanding that what like strap on that courage and push through those fears. It's obviously easier said than done, but it doesn't mean that you can't start figuring it out, right? And the quicker we find a way to get past the fears, the uncertainty and the awkward feelings of like asking people for help or dealing with other people's opinions, the better off that we will be and we will be onto bigger and better things in our life, which is like the most important, again, becoming your best self every single day. And you can't do that if you are not working on even the most minute part of personal growth, like something so small. Maybe it's literally just like when you start thinking about a past mistake and it's starting to like take over your mind with like the new opportunities that you are trying to become excited about and move into. And really it's just that minute detail of of like stopping yourself and being like why am I allowing this thing of the past that I've already dealt with, that I already understand what happened and why and and what it taught me. Why am I still allowing that thing to like creep back in and you know, hold me captive from moving forward? You know? So it's, it's just, it's just so tough. The quicker that we are able to have the courage to move forward and push back those fears, the better that we'll be. And Ian talking about all this fear and needing courage and needing to like continue to persevere and push through in the book of Joshua, actually God is like raising up Joshua to take the lead now that Moses has passed away and now he's going to be the new leader and he's gonna like take them to go to the Jordan River. And so God is telling him several times to like not be afraid, don't be afraid to believe that God has led him to this point and that God has his back. He's there like you, you have me. You're gonna have the strength and the confidence that you need if you just have hope and believe in me, which Joshua did. And so God also reminds him to follow in the ways of Moses, uh, that Moses taught him because these are the instructions that God gave to Moses, right? It's like passing that down, that knowledge. So basically do what God tells you to do and everything will turn out as it should like, absolutely. And so actually if we read the book of Joshua chapter one, verse nine, it says, this is my command. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord. Your God is with you wherever you go. And it's true, he is there. And if you actually go and read the eight verses before this verse, verse nine comes up, you'll notice that God actually says it like two or three times. I can't remember, uh, to tell him that he needs to be strong and he needs to be courageous and that it's going to be okay. And, and all he needs to do is just like follow the instructions that Moses gave him and continue to believe in the Lord. And he's got it. He's gonna be able to lead the people. He's gonna be able to be this like great leader that's like the successor of Moses isn't, and it's gonna be fine. And honestly I think the point of God saying that multiple times to him is it needed to be said. It's like, I'm just gonna reassure you right now that it's gonna be fine. You're gonna have the strength and courage that you need. So just, you know, strap in and and and like let's, let's, let's, let's do this. Let's do this thing. And you know, sometimes we think that since we have gotten away with doing nothing,<laugh> basically just wasting our life away. Not that's dramatic, but you know what I mean. We've just gotten away with not working on ourselves for so long that it no longer matters to us. We're just like, oh, you know, we were kind of been like living the same life for a certain period of time. Everything seems fine, let's just continue to live it this way. And you got uncomfortable, right? And you're stagnant, which is not a positive thing at all. It's like we, we, we spend so much time trying to find those comfortable pockets in our life to live our life, but then we get there and then we realize that we get so comfortable that nothing else happens after that until we are either like pushed out of that spot or we finally realize that oh we need to keep going. This was only supposed to be a break. Not like, let's put down roots and move in. Let, let's get a mortgage. No, this is more of like, let's pass through town and get some snacks and then be on our way. But we can get so desperate to find these places, these seasons of life, these events and these experiences that we go through. We just are so desperate to find a spot that just feels so comfortable that we get caught there and we can't find our way out sometimes because we get so deep in that comfort and so stagnant. And then we continue to tell ourselves all of the excuses that I'm going to share with you today. And it's not good. And I wanna bring that up cause I want you to reflect and ask yourself, are you currently in a comfortable spot that might be a little too comfortable? Are you facing stagnation in your life right now? When's the last time you actually hit a milestone or a progress point on a goal that you have? Or when was the last time you actually set a goal? These are important things to ask yourself to determine if you are just stuck in a rut basically. And you know, it's, it's a, it's it's tough because there's nothing threatening you to change. You know, there's nothing pushing, pushing you. So you say to yourself like, so why change at all? Right? Like there doesn't seem to be a purpose. And then when things are, when we do feel like things are constantly pushing us, chasing us to keep going, we often allow ourselves to get tired too soon too quickly that we find these comfortable places and then we just kind of like cocoon ourselves in and and put our roots down and just wanna stay there forever. And really it's just supposed to be a break, it's just a pit stop. You just gotta get, grab your snacks and then you gotta keep going. You know what I mean? I don't know if you've actually like really considered if you are in one of those comfortable spots, if you are experiencing stagnation right now in your life and have you ever really asked yourself like what could, what could I have been doing instead, what did I possibly miss out on? And not necessarily in like a negative way, just more of like what am I hiding from? What am I letting go? What am I putting to the side because I just don't wanna have to do anymore work. I just wanna have this spot. I'm just chilling. I'm not Avi actually having to deal with very much adversity, struggles, problems, people, I can just live this boring old life that I've discovered in this place of feeling comfortable. Um, but am I missing out on anything? Could life have been even better if I just pushed myself? Maybe you haven't asked yourself those questions or maybe you have, if you have, you're at least kind of on the track of like, oh man, I really should actually get going. I actually do need to leave this comfortable spot. But if you haven't then you're probably like, why? No, why would I ask myself those questions if I'm so uncomfortable? And if you haven't, I hope that you start doing so. And I hope that no matter what season of life that you're in, that you ask yourself these questions, you ask yourself, okay, is what I'm doing what I should be doing and am I focusing on the right things? And actually I just did a podcast episode on that talking about are you focusing on the right things in your life? And so that'd be probably be a really good one to listen to if that's like a question that you have. But you should be asking yourself questions all the time. And it's not that you're doubting yourself at all, it's really just kind of reflecting and really re like determining like this is what's going to happen. And often if you are a Christ follower, the best way to do this is actually to sit in prayer with God and ask him like, Hey, am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I going the way that I need to go? And not in like a worry or anxiety kind of way, just more of like, God am I doing, am I do, am I doing things in your will? Am I going the right way? Am I seeking you in the way that I need to be? Am I spending enough time in my Bible? Am I spending enough time helping others? What do I need to do? What, what do I need to focus on? What do I need to stop focusing on those kind of things. And can God can really like lead you and help you and speak to you and help you like realign the path that you need to be on if you've kind of strayed a little bit, which is fine cuz we all kind of get distracted, you know, I'll be like, oh my gosh, there's a cute dog and you wanna like go and make sure the dog's okay And then you get off the path and you're like, oh my gosh, where am I? Amm in the middle of the woods? You don't know where you are and you need to like find your way back to the path that you were traveling on. But it's important that you know that if you stay too long in that comfort zone that you've kind of like just rooted yourself in, you might lack the experience and the abilities that you need to move on to the next season of life. Which you're like, well if I'm here in this comfort zone, I don't wanna move on to the next season of life. And regardless of whether you wanna move there or not, you're still gonna like go into it, but it's gonna be different than it necess that it like was anticipated to be, if you had continued on the journey of working on yourself and getting those abilities and those skills and the experience that you need and like the next level in life that you were destined to ascend to and you know, God is gonna be there to help you with everything. As I talk about all the time, he's always there, but you still have to do the work. You know, even Paul said in the New Testament that, you know, faith without works is dead and we have to do the work, it's really important for us to do the work. We can't just sit back and then hope that like we're gonna ask God for something and then that then it's just gonna happen. We don't have to do anything. We still have to put in the time, the effort, our due diligence and know that despite us doing those things, we know it's not through our strength still. It's just our obedience to do what we know we're supposed to do until God tells us explicitly what to do and know that he is working through us to help us have the future and the dreams that are within his will for us to have. And so we can't just sit around and hope that things are in our life are going to happen and sit so comfortably and, and just wait for something to happen for us to know that we, that's when we need to keep going. We just need to keep going. We just need to keep doing the work. So actually if you read it in the book of Proverbs chapter 13 verse four, it says, the soul of a lazy man desires and has nothing but the soul of the diligent shall be made rich. And so the desire to have something like have this future job, have a wife, a husband, kids, family, whatever it is, a home new job, whatever it is, the desire to have all of those things is great, right? It's great, but it's only gonna get you as far as your mind can take you. And as far as your mind can go, that's, that's not enough to make it happen, right? You have to take the action, you have to really take the time to reflect on, okay, And create that plan and then take the actually action actually step out. Or you need to ask God like, hey, okay, can you help me make a plan, help me figure out what I need to do next and then still take action. I myself have experienced getting caught up in the whole like, okay, I'm not sure God has told me to do this thing. It kind of reminds me of like, you know, the story of Gideon where he's like asking God to um, you know, confirm or, or, or or prove that he is actually telling him to go and fight. And he's like, well I need you to like do this and I need you to do that to prove to me that what you're saying is actually the Lord and all this stuff. And I do feel like if you are a Christian and a Christ follower, that we get so caught up in being like, well I don't know if God said that. I'm not sure, but I believe that if you truly feel in your heart that God is telling you to do something, then just step out and do it. Especially if you like believe it is. Um, and if you read the Bible and it it aligns with what his word and and the will that you know so far, then just go ahead and do it. Because he will right the way he will adjust if you're like, he's like, oh, you're a little off. That's not exactly what I wanted you to do, but at least you're doing something, you're not sitting around doing nothing, just being complacent. And even if you're not a Christ follower, you can still, you still need to do something. You still need to take action. You can't just sit around and expect like magically your dream job to pop outta nowhere or for you to randomly find the spouse that you're supposed to marry or randomly just like be able to have kids if you were uh, experiencing problems and things like that. Like you have to do the work. You have to like step out and figure out, okay, well if I don't exactly know or I can't clearly hear what God's telling me, I'm gonna do it as close as I know that I feel it's correct. And then just have the hope and faith that things will, the course will be righted as I continue to follow it. Like it's, you have to do the work. So before you, you know, just give up and decide not to do anything, I want you to really tell yourself and remind yourself, hey, if I have a desire, I have to actually take action on it. And hey, if I stay in this comfort zone too long, I might miss out on opportunities that I've been waiting for but I decided to like be fearful of and just kinda like stay in my little zone as opposed to stepping out and having faith that it's gonna work out for the best. So before you can take action all the things that you want, which is really important, let's take a look at the excuses that you love to give for why you're not working on your personal growth, which is why we're here today cuz it's important to know why before you know what to do. Uh, but first, as always here is my quick disclaimer. The tips and advice I'm about to give you are all based on my own knowledge and research and experience and the experiences of others And if you find that what I'm about to share, what I've shared so far does not align with you in like knowing the top excuses for why you are not, uh, you know, seeking personal growth in your life. I do encourage you to seek out a counselor or a therapist and have that one-on-one time to figure out what would best align for you in knowing what your excuses are so that you can come from under them and actually start seeking personal growth. And you know, if you don't wanna do that, that's totally fine. You don't wanna find a, the therapist or a counselor. I encourage you to go to our best friend Google and type in the keywords like, uh, personal growth excuses or why I am not working on myself. And that'll bring up so many articles, podcast, videos, socials, blogs, all the things for you to find something that would better align than what I'm sharing today On the top excuses people use to not seek personal growth. So do that as you will and I hope that everyone is able, whether they stay here or they don't find the answers they need that'll align best with their life right now to, you know, really come face to face with the excuses that we're using for not seeking personal growth. Okay, so here are the top five reasons that you are actually, um, giving as excuses for why you're not seeking personal growth, even though you might call them reasons <laugh>. So number one is blaming external circumstances, blaming external circumstances. It's common to blame the environment that you're in or that you were in growing up, uh, for why you're not pursuing your personal growth. Often we think that our really terrible childhood that may have included abuse or uh, may have in included like trauma and pain and lots of struggle. We sometimes will carry that emotional pain around like baggages, like a backpack and be like, oh, we can't do anything because of all these things that we have gone through when in reality we can kind of actually just like shed that skin and allow it to just like fall away and not hold us back and not be this thing that's like a weight this burden on us. Uh, just because we went through all those things doesn't mean that our life has to continue to reflect that life that we went through, right? And maybe it's the environment that you're in right now. You know, maybe you're surrounded by people that are not the best influence. Maybe you're really having a lot of problems and really wished there was growth and opportunity or whatever it may be. But despite all of those things happening in your life, you have to find a way to find the peace in the calm for you to move through every experience, every struggle with a cool, calm mindset of knowing you can get through this, you can figure this out and you can still walk around yourself to become your best self every single day despite you going through some of the hardest things that you have ever experienced. I promise you it sounds difficult and you might be like, oh, you don't understand, I'm going through this, that and the other. I understand I don't understand your very specific like nuanced like circumstance that maybe you're going through, but I do understand going through really hard stuff but still pushing yourself to become your best self and not allow yourself to crumble in pieces because you have lost faith and hope that anything could change and be different. And if you struggle with that, I do encourage you also to like kind of look back at your past and reflect on the times that you were going through other really hard things and how you came through those and remind yourself that you have come through so much so far that what makes you think that you won't continue to be able to push through and persevere through whatever you're going through right now. And so when we blame external circumstances, we often are just using that as an excuse because it's kind of the security blanket that we've used and I get outta jail free card kind of thing where, okay, well I don't have to actually do any work that would really stretch me and have me grow and maybe make some mistakes and failures. I can just be like, oh no, I'm scared under my little like, you know, emotional blinky and I don't need to do anything which isn't true. Uh, we can also blame. So in the mix of environment we can also blame other people in our life and you know, claim that they're like getting in the way of us seeking personal growth and making progress. And yes, maybe there are people in your life, maybe it's even like your spouse or your partner that doesn't want you to pursue this hi side hustle or doesn't want you to want to change your life and read the Bible and seek Christ or they don't want you to, um, save money so that you guys can go on a trip or start saving for a house or whatever. Maybe they are like actually trying to get in your way and you're like, no, I want to grow in these things. I wanna understand these things, I wanna have this goal. And they're like, no, you still need to like do what you can. Maybe you will use some critical thinking and problem solving to find another way to save money for a house in the future so you don't feel like you're getting behind on that goal or dream. And maybe they are really against you reading the Bible for whatever reason and you find another opportunity for you to do it. Or maybe you find a, a way to do it on like an electronic device so they it and it's not this big drama and it's like whatever you're going for, whatever you're trying to do and you do truly feel like people are getting your way of personal growth and going after goals and setting goals and figuring things out in your life, there's always another way around. And if you can't figure out another way, I do encourage you to reach out to someone, ask for help so that you can do and accomplish the your life. There's just this idea that these things and many other examples were like, get in the way of like possible progress when in reality we can overcome and move past our external circumstances and not allow those things to drag us down if we choose to, but we have to choose to. Number two is lack of motivation. You know, I used to be that person that's like, oh, I need motivation to do all the things until I really understand the benefit and the need of discipline.<laugh> discipline is like something that we all absolutely need to have and cultivate in our life on a regular basis. So instead of developing discipline, we often lean on motivation to always be there to pick us up and keep us going. So instead of, you know, actually putting in the time and the effort and the practice to be disciplined, to continue to move forward, to continue to like go after our goals and our dreams and to keep pushing even when we're like stuck in the mud, we can just continue to move forward. No, instead of doing all of those great things, we want to sit around and wait for inspiration and motivation to just hit us and then do those things, which is not something that you can rely on at all whatsoever. It is very finicky and we need to know that motivation is not something that's gonna be your bestie, it's gonna be like the most flaky friend that you have in the entire world. And so instead of developing discipline, we often just like lean on to motivation and hope. It's always gonna be there to pick us up and help us keep going. But you know, I also know that that often they overcome, we are feel overcome with disappointment and lack of support and the inability to, uh, self-start and get ourselves going in these continuing in a goal or maybe starting something new and going a different route. Like all these things feel very difficult. Uh, you know, when we are overwhelmed with these things, it can get in the way of seeking motivation and often create this like stop gap in our life. So even if we decide that we don't wanna cultivate discipline, which we all should, and we're trying to look for motivation in life to continue to push forward, which is often just seeing other people hitting goals and moving forward and you're like, gosh, I gotta get my rear in gear. Um, but when we're so discouraged and we don't have support in our life for what we're trying to do, then we often will just like not accomplish anything, we'll just end up getting stuck where we are. Or even like, you know, reverting backwards to things we used to do that we should not do anymore because we're just so we're, we're so down in the dumps, we're so negative on the outcome that we feel could happen when we actually take action and do the thing that we're supposed to do. And on top of that, it could also be like the lack of motivation could also be the lack of purpose that someone feels that they have in this world. You know, if you and I am like I was that person for the longest time, I'm still trying to figure out like what my true purpose in life is, but I know that God is leading me and and sharing with me the things that I need to know to, you know, fulfill his, like do his will in that whole thing. But there was a time where I was just like, oh my gosh, I didn't know what I'm supposed to do. And then I thought I knew what I was supposed to do I thought I knew what I was supposed to do and then it changed and it's just like continue to bounce around and be so unsure. And so maybe you really relate with that. And you know, that is often like a reason why we lack motivations because we aren't sure or confident in like what we're supposed to be doing every day and how we're supposed to go about it. So that really kills motivation and we just, again, stay stagnant. We are complacent. We are just like you are sitting there and nothing is happening when we need to start cultivating discipline of doing things when we need to do them, regardless of whether we want to be doing them or not, because it's going to help us grow and become our best selves. So lack of motivation definitely a really, really big excuse that a lot of us use when we don't want to seek personal growth. Number three is past failures. Past failures. So it's relieve, it's like reliving the pain that happened in the past and allowing those experiences to like prevent us from trying again, from doing either the same thing or maybe something new. And we just get so caught up in like, oh my gosh, it didn't go well last time. Remember all the problems that we had. Remember how we were embarrassed or remember how I felt fell on my face or remember how bad it was. And you get so caught up in those past memories and maybe even thinking about them so much that they feel like their current memories and like it just happened. Even if it happened years ago or months ago, you're still like, oh no, I can't do it. Like I failed so much. And in reality, you probably didn't fail that much and, and you've, you have to know that you probably failed more than a lot of the biggest inventors in the world. And so we have to continue to keep going and to persevere. And so it's, it's, I know it's really tough. I know it's really tough when we dwell on our failures. All we want is for us to be able to understand and glean what we needed from those past mistakes and failures and then use that information to do it even better job in the future. But we often just get so caught up in like what wrote wrong and how bad that may or may not make us look. And that just like crowds our mind so, so, so, so, so much. And also the excuse of having past failures for a while you're not working on yourself is also a prime example of a fixed mindset. So a growth mindset is very flexible and they're open to trying something, it not working out and then trying again and knowing that just because they weren't good at it on the first time doesn't mean they won't be good at on the second time or the third time or the 210th time. It just takes time and practice to do whatever we're trying to do. I mean, think about any sort of athlete in the world, especially like professional competitive athletes, think about how many times they do all the things. I immediately think of gymnasts and how often they've done all of the flips and all the turns and the whole routine and everything that they have to present when they actually get to the Olympics. Think about it. They're doing the same things over and over and over again and we're over here like, oh my gosh, I failed at this thing, uh, first time and now I'm never gonna do it again. Like, that's crazy. How do you think the people that are really, really, really, really, really good at stuff get really, really, really, really, really good at stuff? They have to do it over and over and over again. So we can't continue to allow fear to cloud our minds and to hold this hostage because those things are going to help us become stronger and we should allow it to push us to try again or try again in a new way or just try something new like absolutely, completely. So another excuse that we use often is past failures. Number four, fear of judgment. Fear of judgment. This is like the biggest one for me, <laugh>, I would say it's, it's like it's fear of judgment. Other people's opinions and being rejected that prevent people from working on their selves because they are so wrapped up in the worry and the anxiety of like the worst case scenario happening and whatever the worst case scenario is. So if you are fearing that you do decide to get a therapist or a counselor to better yourself and actually seek personal growth, you might be afraid that the worst case scenario is that someone finds out and they tell everyone and they spread rumors and they say terrible things about it, right? When in reality you could tell someone and they probably either won't care<laugh> or they'll be very interested in ask you questions and, and want to know like, how did you get hooked up with this person? How did you decide that you wanted to start with this person? All of these things. So we can just get so wrapped up in those things that we don't allow ourselves to reflect and see that, oh wow, I did something similar to this in the past. I can take those skills here and do it here. Or you are afraid that the way that you're going to go about it is much different than how you already know Other popular people go about it, but that does not matter. They just get so wrapped up and like, oh my gosh, the world's gonna end if uh, if I try to do anything, if I try to step out or anything. And you assume that people are still holding grudges and some of them are, and some of them are going to continue to talk about you behind their back and make fun of you. But the amazing thing is that you don't have to listen to that. You don't have to care about that. You're gonna just let it go. But this is like one of the biggest excuses that people use for not seeking personal growth. And you know, the possibly the possibility of not meeting like this societal expectation with whatever we're doing to become our best self can really, really, really hit hard, you know? And when we get caught up in, you know, what others think about us, uh, it really dictates what we do and like what we don't do because we don't allow ourself to do the things that we have been chastised for before made fun of. And something that's really similar to that. We're like, no, we can't do that one. Really. We need to try again. <laugh>, we need, there's like so much respect for people that continue to try and try, try again after doing the research, after really determining that that's the best course of action. You gotta keep going with it. You can't expect to try it 3, 4, 5 times and, and it work. You gotta keep going, keep trying. You have to. And so yeah, so when you're not meeting those societal expectations, it can be really, really hard and heartbreaking and you know, we are allowing ourselves to be held captive by the words of others, by the words of others, as if their opinion matters. And it does say the bible a lot that it's important for us to get along with our neighbor and to uh, listen to their advice when it's applicable. But I think that we don't realize that that's where the line is, that's where the boundary is when it's applicable. If it's not applicable then don't do it. <laugh> don't follow their advice. Don't even like consider it. Just be grateful. Hey, thanks, thank you for providing your advice, but I don't need it. It's totally fine and just kind of like move on. But we don't, we feel like we have to follow everyone's advice because they've done it before they say they're the best or whatever comes up in your mind or from someone else. When really we have the power to make those decisions and be like, no, I don't have to worry about any of this. It's gonna do what I was told to do and it's gonna be fantastic. Um, let me read you a couple verses that will really help you with the fear of judgment and really worrying about being a people pleaser and what people say about you. So the first one is in the book of Proverbs, chapter 29, verse 25. And it says, fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. So if we are gonna put all of our trust in people and what they say and what they do and what they say they're gonna do, uh, it's it's really dangerous. You're, you're going to be let down at some point and when you are, you don't wanna allow that to just completely wreck your heart. You wanna know that God is on your side and he can help you get through anything. And just because this one thing went poorly or maybe doesn't mean that everything is bad or going to just like fall apart. That is not what it means at all. So fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. Uh, the second verse that I have for you, Galatians chapter one, verse 10, obviously I'm not trying to win the approval of people but of God, if people pleasing were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant. So if you are on the journey of you know, uh, living your life as Christ-like as possible, you gave your heart to Jesus, you were like all in. We need to realize that if you are struggling with currently are, let's work on like allowing that behavior to fall to the wayside because we can't be so caught up in what we, what the world is telling us and then feeling like we can be equally caught up with what God is telling us. But we can't cuz we cannot, we can't. It's one or the other, okay? You can't just like split it down the middle. It's not 50 50. You have to be like all in on God or you're all in on the world. And yes, we live in the world and so we'll have to like, you know, adapt or be flexible in things and be the best light we can amongst all the craziness. But it doesn't mean that we need to act like the world. We can just act and be a representative of Christ in the world that is so treacherous and painful and pray that you know, we're making a difference and believing that we're making a difference because Christ is working through us to do as much as we can, right? So yeah, those were really good verses again, Proverbs 29 25 in Galatians one 10, look those up. If you do struggle with a fear of judgment, I know that I am going to read them again because it is really helpful for us to not be focusing on the approval of all people, but the approval of the Almighty God that is in heaven helping us through the Holy Spirit. Okay, number five, and the last one that I have to share with you today is lack of awareness. Lack of awareness. I put this one at the end because I knew that if it was none of the things that I shared before or even anything else you might find online on the internet, it could literally be someone is that a naive or chooses not to really focus on like themselves too much for whatever reason is you'll fall under lack of awareness. And so some people just really truly aren't aware, uh, that they should be working on something to become their best self. Again. I feel like that's also another way that people fall into that comfortable place, that little comfortable like, uh, pit of despair where, well it's like that's like a different thing. But I do feel like when you're in the comfort zone, you can experience the pit of despair more often than you want. But when you're in the comfort zone and you're just chilling and you're like waiting there, it's like you're camping out, putting down roots when really you should be passing by to get your snack. It's just like this travel lodge gas station place. You're supposed to just like stop refuel, get some snacks to get back on the road. But we get so caught up in our comfort zone that everything feels great. So it feels like we don't have to do anything, we don't have to really think about our emotions, we don't have to continue to be diligent in the practices that we are doing currently and we just kind of like let it all go. And so maybe you are experiencing a lack of awareness of not understanding what's happening, how you're feeling about that, what's the reaction or the response and being able to regulate those emotions. It could also be that they aren't sure what to work on, like what specifically they need to work on. Maybe there feels like there's several things and there needs to be like a list, like a priority list, which you can definitely create, especially when you're creating your goals and have those progress points and milestones to kind of like determine that. Um, but yeah, some people just aren't sure cuz they're not sure what they should be working on and how to understand their emotions and all those things. And if you can't pin down what you should work on, often, you know, people don't do anything. And so if you can't like clearly see something that needs to change, something that needs to shift, of course you're gonna be like, oh no, I'm great. But if someone else reaches out to you and they wanna tell you in the most god-loving way that they can, that you do need to work on it, then you should work on it. You should just take that advice as like helpful, um, constructive criticism, talk to God about it and then you'll be fine <laugh> and then you can like figure out uh, like what needs to happen, you know? Um, but yeah, you gotta really like just open your eyes but also focus in on what you're doing and how you're reacting and how you're responding and even how that makes other people feel around you. Not that you are in charge of their emotions, but you just need to be aware cuz that's also good data to bring in. Um, but yes, if you don't know what you're working on, that can also push out a lack of awareness cuz you're like, I don't know what to work on. I don't know how to get to know myself better if I don't know what's next. And you need to be able to create a priority list to know what should be next. If you cannot, again, you could also check out with a therapist or a counselor or someone that you really trust. They'll help you determine how to create that priority list and know what you should work on first. Also, we should try to be working on something we know that will benefit us all the time. And just because there isn't anything that's broken, right? It's like that phrase of like, if it's not broke, don't fix it. I would actually say if it's not broke then you know, we should kind of consider like what needs to tune up, what could shift a little bit, what could change and what new knowledge that we learned, what new sermon do we listen to? And it really opened our eyes to this thing and that needs to shift, right? So I feel like that there always could be something that you're shifting, that you're moving, that's changing just a little bit and it'll help with your flexibility and your patience and your ability to just continue to persevere through days of work that are different because of these changes, then you're gonna be great. You're gonna be Gucci as my daughter, my daughter-in-law. The kids say, you're gonna be great. You're gonna be fine. So, you know, we just, we just need to realize that even though life seems dandy, even though we're living in our comfort zone is the best life ever, we need to realize that there is always something that we can be working on just a little bit to continue to become our best selves every single day. But that's it, that's all five that I have to share with you today. On the top five reasons. We think they're reasons, but they're actually excuses for why we're not seeking. Personal growth. So thank you so much for listening to The Real Positive Girl podcast again with me, Sabrina. And, um, thank you for listening, downloading, sharing. I, I pray that you continue to do so. Do not forget to check the show notes below for all the details and everything you need to send up for the newsletter, to send me a DM, to send me an email that's down there too. Check out the YouTube channel, all the things. But until next time, have a good one and I'll see y'all next time. Bye.