Are You Focusing On the Right Things? Defining Your Current Priorities

Show Notes:
“To magnify something is NOT to make it bigger. Magnification doesn’t change the size of the object. Magnification is the process whereby you get your perspective of what was there all along.” -Steven Furtick

Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church goes on to say that we aren’t trying to make God bigger when we magnify Him, we are trying to become more focused on Him.

I see it as digging deeper, going below the surface level, and getting up close & personal with God.

What are we putting all our focus on in our lives? 

Psalm 34:3, “Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness, let us exalt his name together.” (NLT)

I believe the Bible teaches us that if we put our primary focus on God, He WILL lead us in the way we need to go. He will help us focus on what's most important.

I want you to think about what your primary focus is in life right now.

Really think about it & when you come up with your answers, dig a little deeper to determine if that’s what you WANT your focus to be or if you want/need it to be something else.

The importance of knowing what you focus on most, what you are magnifying in your life is to examine what’s top priority & whether or not it should be. Will whatever is number 1 get you to where you need to go? Is it actually worth your time?

Here is the list of 5 questions I would ask myself when determining if I am focusing on the right things in life right now:

1. What Are My Goals Right Now? Have I Made Any Recent Progress?
   1. Do your actions or lack of actions are align with your values?
   2. Matthew 6:33, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
   3. Are you making progress toward things that matter most to you?
2. What Am I Doing Every Day & How Important Are These Things?
   1. Determine if anything you’re spending time on is actually important to you.
   2. Colossians 3:23, “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”
3. When Was the Last Time I Reflected On How My Life is Going?
   1. Have you spent time reflecting with God? Tell Him about everything and ask what He thinks.
   2. Romans 12:2, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
4. Who Am I Spending Most of My Time With? Are These People That Provide Support & Inspiration?
   1. Do you need to find a better group of people to spend time with?
   2. Are you lacking people that support & inspire you in your life?
5. Have I Been Taking Care of My Mind, My Body & My Emotions?
   1. I encourage you to make time for prayer & studying the Bible. 
      1. Knowing the Word allows you to be ready with scripture when the devil tries to be tricky.
   2. Are you taking on too much?
   3. How is your physical health right now? 
   4. Do you find yourself reacting more than responding to situations?

Transcript

0:03

This is the Real Positive Girl podcast and I am your host Sabrina. And we are here chatting with you about your emotions, your mental health struggles, and how to take those first few steps towards becoming more vulnerable, becoming more honest with yourself, and developing self-awareness because that is like one of the top keys to better understanding yourself and like why you are the way that you are. <laugh>. Oh, I literally asked myself that question today. Why am I the way that I am? And you know, we do that two times a week here. So if you are brand new, welcome in. I hope that by listening to this podcast or watching the video version, if that's what you're doing, that you actually end up learning something that you can take away and using your everyday life or share with something el someone else or do both of those things. And that is my whole goal is to teach and provide knowledge for us all to work towards becoming our best selves. So today we're gonna chat about are you focusing on the right things? Isn't that interesting? I find like just the title in itself interesting and it was based off of a like sermon and a scripture that I heard today, which I'm very excited and I think it's gonna be really, really helpful. But before we get into that, as always, I want to invite you to come say hi to me on social media. I am at Sabrina Joy Perso on both TikTok and Instagram. So please come say hi, send me a dm, let's become friends online and you know, kind of like build that community. And if you ever have any questions or comments, concerns, progress, feedback, topics, suggestions, whatever you have, please always send those to me. You can also email me at real positive girl podcast gmail.com. If you take a peek down the show notes, all of that will be there. Like how to spell my name for socials, the whole email address. All of those things are down there also for you to send it for the weekly newsletter that's kind of gotten behind. It's more of like an every other week new newsletter. It's just something that I would love to come out with, like it's some sort of different time cadence, but I'm trying to do it weekly and it's kind of blog style. So you can sign up down there and your name will be put on the list and you'll get the link in your email to click on that and go to the newsletter. But again, it's like a blog style kind of thing with, you know, video that you can watch that's like enabled in the newsletter and photos and all kinds of like cool stories and little mini lessons that can really help you. So check that out. Also, you can suggest a topic down there anonymously. You can have, um, an emotional venting down there anonymously. You can go to the YouTube channel if you haven't been there for the podcast and watch some video versions of the podcast. We're slowly catching up. So all of those things are down there available for you in the show notes. So check all of that out when you have a moment. But let's go ahead and jump into the reason that we're all here, which is to talk about are you focusing on the right things? So I don't think I've ever asked myself this question, are you focusing on the right things? Because I feel like I am constantly, and maybe you feel similarly as well. I feel like I'm constantly focusing on multiple things at once. And I recently did, uh, talk about how multitasking is like not the best thing at all and it can actually really get in the way of us being our most productive self. That was in a recent episode where I was talking about, you know, how to be our most productive and you know, someone actually I had like a clip of that episode on social media and someone was like, yeah, I get where you're coming from, but sometimes multitasking has to happen. And I completely agree. I'm not saying that we can't ever do it. Sometimes we were forced to do it depending upon the situation. It's very situational what we're in and what we are required to do in that moment, right? Or sometimes it just feels like we need to, to multitask because that's what would be best and most beneficial for the situation. You know, there's gonna be, you know, exceptions to the rule for that. Um, but when you do multitask, you can't help but also feel overwhelmed, feel and know in your heart and your mind that you're doing too much, you're doing too much, right? I think we can all agree on that. And so, you know, I don't necessarily, again ask myself this question because it's always multiple things and I struggled to put one thing at the top of this like list for our life of like what is the most priority thing because it feels like I will, you know, kind of like drop the ball on everything else. And to me that sounds like a, like a, like a tragedy. Like one of the most terrible things that could happen is if I just like have one focus and then everything else under it just see, just seems like it's coming second cuz it is, but that it's not gonna get as much focus and it won't be done as well. And so it's like, that's why I'm like, okay, let's do three or five at number one. And that's just not realistic. You know, in my mind I'm thinking that everyone's at this like equal level when really there are things that are being focused on more at one time and more at another and less at another time. You know what I mean? And so I would feel that way for the longest time, for the longest time, but it really, really changed once I realigned my life with Christ and kinda like rededicated myself to, uh, you know, to God and doing what he wants me to do and studying the Bible and praying and really wanting to, uh, live my whole life for Christ, which happened recently. And I, I can't tell you enough how much peace and how much the burden of life has kind of like, you know, um, gone down. I, I I really wish I had a better like word like to pop in there. I usually vocabulary is my, my top thing, but anytime I'm trying to describe how just like peaceful I feel and less stress and less anxiety, it's very difficult for me to come up with a word I need to like go to the source, have three on hand. So then when I describe it, I have the words on hand. But. You know, I, that's all really a lot for me to say that I welcome, I welcome the ability to just focus on Christ, right and what God tells me to do in my life because it's the best trickle down effect that I've ever experienced in my you put God first, like he's at the top of the list always and forever and then, you know, uh, everything else just falls in line because I trust and have faith that he will come through for me and he will help me handle the rest of the things if I'm just like, okay, God, you are my number one focus. Let me honor you, let me praise you. And then everything that I have to do, like my job, my relationships, my kid, um, my side hustles, anything that I'm like working on wanting to be a really good wife, wanting to have organization in my life, wanting to have like, you know, chill time in my life. It's like all of those things just like fall in line because we've given it all to him. So, you know, I still have to like do the, take the action and do the work, uh, but he is like right beside me the whole entire time and he can be right beside you if he, if you feel like he currently isn't or you're not in like a relationship with God right now. And he's just helped me along the way and I have like way less stress to take on as like a burden, which is nice. I would say that anyone that deals with stress or anxiety, you're like, what? Like let's talk to me more <laugh>. So it has helped me so much and I've had a lifelong, I feel like struggle with anxiety and depression and stress and you know, even if it turns out that I am like actually doing the wrong thing and I have the wrong thing, like prioritized right under him and things are kind of feeling like out of alignment, you know, he will write the path for me because he knows that I trust him and I'm continuing to rededicate myself to him and trusting him and having faith in him every single day. Then he's like, okay, well let me help you just like move all of this around and get you back on that path and like stop like, you know, getting distracted in the jungle here and stay on the road <laugh>, right? And it's because I trust him and it's truly, it's truly the best for me. So just so they consider if that is not how you feel like your life is right now, and I just believe that it could be as great and magnificent as I feel like mine is right now. So when I was coming up with this episode and a lot of the episodes lately that I have, you know, where I draw the inspiration from and where I think about how like where that idea comes from, you know, it's been a lot of like sermons or reading the Bible or having like some sort of something come to me like God speaking to me during Bible study time or I will just like come up with an idea and then I will be like, okay, well how does this link back to having a biblical uh, scripture to help, you know, uh, bring that in as well as how God can help with every single thing in the entire world, right? And so here is a quote from Stephen Verdict, which is the pastor of Elevation Church. He said to magnify something is not to make it bigger magnification doesn't change the size of the object magnification is the process whereby you get your perspective of what was there all along. And so when I think about that quote, and if you need that, it's gonna be down in the show notes. I try to like, you know, my notes have gotten so much longer over the years and so I have to like pick and choose and I'm gonna find a way for everyone to have like the full set of notes that I actually write for every episode linked within the newsletter coming soon. But that quote will be down there if you need it. But when I think about that, it's like interesting because I think that naturally with would think that if we magnify something, it does make it bigger, but it does. We like, if you take like a magnifying glass and you put it over something, it does feel like it's making it bigger. But actually it doesn't actually change the sides of the object. It doesn't, it just allows you to see it closer and to have a better perspective of it because it is, um, in more detail and you're able to focus on it more because it just makes the image of it bigger. You're able to see it better. It doesn't make it bigger because if you take the magnifying glass away, it's still the same size but it makes it easier for you to see it. And I was just like, wow, that is so, so good. And you know, this was the scripture, uh, sorry not, this wasn't the scripture, but the scripture <laugh> this tied into a scripture that I'm gonna share with you shortly. But the scripture, this episode is based on, speaks on magnifying the Lord. And that's in like a lot of verses in the Bible and also in, um, a lot of like worship songs that you would say that were magnifying the Lord. And again, pastor Stephen verdict from Elevation Church said it best in the quote that I said to you because you know, his sermon was preaching with this quote. And he goes on to say that, you know, we aren't trying to make God bigger, you know, when we magnify him, um, we are trying to become more focused on him and we're trying to like zoom in and be like, okay, like what do I really need to know, um, about him? How can I know him better? And I also think about it, I just now have this thought that when we're so zoomed in, we're so close, we're so magnify, we're magnifying him that it feels so, so much bigger to us and, and not, not physically, it's not actually making it bigger, it's just allowing us to see it more clearly. Anytime you see like a magnification of something, it it takes up your whole like vision. It's like all you can see, right? You're not just looking at the thing, you're looking at it in such like a wider, larger detail, if that makes sense. And so it's just like taking over your whole line of sight. And I like to think of it like that because it's like, yeah, if, if we allow God to just like take over our entire like, uh, line of sight and all we're looking at is him and allowing ourselves to just like trust him and have faith in him and and let it all be in him and through him life will just, just, just just be so much more simpler, you know, not easier, just more simple because we're putting it all on him and he's telling us to do and we're continually going and connecting with him. And I don't know, I just want it to be like so amazing. I really saw it as like, you know, digging deeper, going below the surface, which is the thing I feel like I've been talking about a lot because of my reflection on feeling like I was very much a surface level Christian for such a long time. But yeah, going below the surface and getting up close and personal with God and I just found that to be fantastic and I definitely wanted to share it with you. Now let's look at it from like the perspective of like regular life and just like our every day. So what, there's gonna be a lot of questions in this episode, so kind of buckle up if that's like a thing that kind of scares you <laugh>, uh, but you shouldn't be scared, it's gonna be great and helpful. What are we putting a lot of focus on in our lives really? Like, you know, these are like the warmup questions, <laugh>, uh, cuz we're gonna have a whole list. Like that's what the tips are today. What are we putting a lot of focus on in our lives? Who are we spending a ton of our time with? What are we reading? You know, and mentally ingesting where does most of our time go? Like what's going on in our lives really? And that's really when I wanna bring to you today is what is going on? What is, what are you putting first, what are you prioritizing? What are you allowing into your mind, your spirit and your soul? Like what are you allowing to um, you know, like even be close to your emotions and having any sort of influence on those. Like what are you allowing in and what are you seeking on the regular? In the book of Psalms chapter 34 verse three, it says, come let us tell of the Lord's greatness. Let us exalt his name together. And so this is the scripture that this whole entire episode is based on. And in the King James version, it actually uses the word magnify. So in the King James's version it says, oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together. And so when I was listening to that sermon and he was talking about magnifying the Lord and really seeing magnification as like focusing more in on the Lord, this was the verse that was brought in and I was like, oh my gosh, that's amazing. But even in the new Living translation, which is the translation I read the most because that's the one that my actual like physical Bible is in, come let us tell of the Lord's greatness. And like when he, when you're so focused on the Lord, you are able to really understand the Lord's greatness and everything he has to offer and everything he's doing for us and how, how can we not be drawn to him and want to just give our lives over to serving him And we need to exalt his name together. We need to magnify him, we need to share him with everyone that we can. So that is the scripture that this episode is based on. And you know, I believe that the Bible teaches us that if we put our primary focus on God, he is our number one. Like think back to MySpace where it's like you had your top eight friends, God's at the top, he's number one, not Tom God <laugh>. And if you are old enough to get that joke, thank you very much, but God he will lead us in the way that we need to go. If he is our number one, he is going to lead us in the way that we need to go. Which just sounds so great Cause I spent so much of my life like really figuring out where do I need to go? Am I going in the right direction? It caused so much confusion and drama in my life. I cannot even like tell you the details of that. It's it, it was so much. And so now it's kind of just like, wow, he is going to lead us, he's gonna tell us where we need to go. He will help us focus on the things that are important and that are necessary. But he will also help if we allow him to also, we have to invite him in. We have to allow him to be in our life. You know, he's not gonna like <laugh> like fight us to the death to like get in. We gotta, we have to allow him in, right? And he's gonna help us to like no longer help us no longer focus on things that are not beneficial, that are not helping us, that are, that might possibly be hurting us. And some of this will be done in like due diligence, you know, to take action and know that in truth and faith he will guide us, right? We have to still like do you know, faith without works is dead. So we have to actually still take action, you know, guide us and keep us on the right path if we stay connected to him, if we rededicate ourselves, our lives in ourselves every single day to him wake up with this like renewing like mind with like faith and trust and hope and belief in him. Oh he is right there. He is number one, he is number one for us in everything. And then he just comes alongside us and helps us with everything else. You know, it's just amazing. But for, but for all of us, you know, Christ follower or not, I really want you to think about like what is your primary focus in your life right now? If, could you name it? Like could you just name it off the top of your head for me right now? Yes I could. I'd be like God, God is my primary focus. Living like Jesus is my primary focus, that's my number one. But maybe for you it's like, you know, it could be a relationship, you know, maybe you're married or maybe you're dating someone, you're hoping to get married, who knows, maybe it's your job, maybe it's your friends, maybe it's building a side hustle, maybe it's doing well in school, right? It could also be a few things that you, again, like I was talking about, you feel like they're equal on top. You feel like there's two or three things that are like right there at the top and then a bunch of other things just come down the list after that. But regardless of like however it is or what is there, really think about it like a really, really, really be honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, you literally are not being honest with anyone else. I promise you that's the truth. But be honest with yourself, you know, really think about it. And when you come up with your answer of what you believe is at the primary top spot of your life, dig a little deeper to determine if that's what you want to focus on. You know, your relationships at the top. Is that really what you wanna focus on? Or would you rather focus on school or would you rather focus on your kiddo or would you rather focus on your job or getting extra education? Do you make your job better or get a different job, right? Or do you wanna shift your focus to have God number one and then everything else just come like right under it, right? Is that like, is what you're focusing on right now like really what you wanna focus on? Or do you need it to be something else? Like these are the questions that we're gonna ask ourselves today. And just so you know, the importance of knowing like what you focus on the most, like what's the primary thing? What you are magnifying in your life is to examine what's type, what's like what is your top priority and whether or not it should be, whether or not it's correct, whether or not you are focusing on the right things. Because maybe passively you're like, yeah it's fine, but have you taken the time to really think about it? Have you taken the time to really like, like get down into nitty nitty gritty and ask yourself why? Why is your relationship number one why? Why is your job number one, why are all of these things number one, I apologize for that sound. It is so that was so loud, it actually scared me. So if you watch the video, you'll see me shutter <laugh>, oh my gosh, okay, back on track. You really need to ask yourself like is, is, is whatever is at number one, is it worth your time? Is it worth your effort? Like really understand like if it is your relationship, like why is your relationship, why is your relationship more important than your job or than your family or you know, doing this or doing that And really just knowing you don't wanna just assume that oh it is because it is like that's not an answer. That's not going beneath the surface. That's not actually knowing the real nitty gritty reasons. And you know, to help you with this, I have created some questions to ask yourself to help you determine if you are focusing on the right things or if you need to adjust your focus in your life. But before that, as always, I'm going to give you my disclaimer that I give every single time because not all advice and tips help for everyone in every season of life for anyone. So if you have blogs and podcasts and social media influencers and books and other experts, TV people, whatever that are giving you advice, all of those things are not gonna work for everyone and every single season of their life. Sometimes it will and sometimes it won't. be aware of that. And I know that like you, that what I'm sharing with you today might not work for you and that's okay. Maybe it'll work for you next time or maybe it'll never work for you because of what I'm giving. It's just not like catching for you So here's my quick disclaimer. The tips and advice that I'm about to give you are all based on my own research and knowledge and experience and the experiences of others. Then I am able to share if you find that what I'm about to share and what I've already shared does not align with what you believe will help you to figure out if you are focusing on the right things in your life. I encourage you to seek a therapist or a counselor and have that one-on-one opportunity to really dig down deep to figure out what would align with you best to figure out if you're focusing on the right things. If you don't wanna do that, I encourage you to go to our best friend, say it with me, Google and type in some keywords that will help you figure out if you're focusing on the right things. And keywords that I'm gonna suggest for you are what should I focus on or type in how to create priorities in life. And that will lead you to other podcasts, YouTube videos, blogs, articles, social media, all the things. And my brain was like running a little bit slower there. And that will help you really to maybe figure out what would align with you best. If you feel like what I'm sharing with you, well not so totally fine. Okay? So here's a list of five questions that I would ask myself when determining if I'm focusing on the right things in my life right now. Now before we jump into this, I will say the addition of right now, I encourage you to do this every time you feel like you are in a season of life change. If you shift from a season of life and you know that feeling, it's just like wow, life just feels so different. Maybe got a new job, you moved somewhere, you had a kid, you got married, you started dating someone, you, you rededicated your life to Christ like me, you are having some sort of like trauma tragedy and you're getting past it or maybe you feel like you're moving into it, whatever's happening, if you feel like you're moving into or have moved into a new season of life, I encourage you to ask yourself all of these questions. Are you focusing on the right things? Because what you focus on on one season of life is not going to be the same as in another. Things are gonna change all the time. And of course my overall suggestion for you is that if you feel like you're not and you don't know what to do and you don't remember this episode, try to remember this one thing. Ask God to help you. He will be like, God, I mean I feel like I'm in a new season of life. I don't know if I'm focusing on the right things. Can you help me realign my life? And he's like, yeah, but me number one, you're like okay. And then like whatever else happens after that, whatever. And you're like, okay Lord, well after you like what? What should we work on? What should come next? And he'll help you. So if you don't remember anything, remember that He'll help you. Okay, so five questions, here we go. Number one, what are my goals right now? Now these are gonna sound like very simple questions and we're gonna dig a little bit deeper and I do have some more scriptures to share with you, but it's gonna help I promise. So if you try it and you actually commit to it, be honest with yourself of course. What are my goals right now? Have I made any recent progress? So ask yourself like what are your goals? Determine like what your goals are. Maybe if you don't, let's start here. If you don't have any goals right now, then obviously you're not gonna have made any recent progress. But if you don't have any goals right now, ask yourself why. Why don't you have any goals? I feel like every single person in the world has a goal. Maybe they haven't like labeled it officially a goal. Maybe it hasn't come across as something that you have so many milestones for or progress points, but it's a goal because you're like, I am here, I want to get here. I'm figuring out a path to get to that place. So maybe you think that, you know, getting a new job or getting a promotion at work doesn't feel like a goal, but it is, it is. And there might not be as many milestones or progress points between like the start and the finish, but it's still a goal. So if you feel like you don't have any goals, kind of realign, like what are you working towards? What are you hoping will happen sometime in the future? There's your goal. And so once you determine like what your goals are or if you literally feel like you have zero goals, ask yourself why don't you have any goals? What has prevented you from taking the time to consider having some goals, having something to work towards. Do you feel, are you, are you struggling with like anxiety and depression or stress or something like that or some sort of trauma that's happening in your life that it just feels like having goals or like really seeking towards anything in the future just feels like worthless? Because if that's who you are, I do encourage you to pray, ask God to help you. And I encourage you to talk to a therapist or a counselor or someone that can help you. I hope that you have a support system around you of family members and people that really care about you. Maybe you have a, a partner or kids or whatever mentor, maybe people in your community groups that can help you and comfort you and come around you and help you figure out like what you need to do next to kind of. Sparked the joy and, and kind of like help you revive yourself so that you can start creating more goals in your life. So what are your goals right now? Have you made any recent progress? If you have goals in your life, have you made any recent progress? Like where are you at if you, normally when you create a goal, you have progress reports, progress points or like milestones, however you wanna to pick them. And where are you in that? Have you taken any recently? What is the cadence that you are hitting milestones? And I know that the cadence is nec not necessarily always gonna be the same between every single milestone, but do you feel like you are on a proper cadence to hit the next milestone? You have to ask yourself these questions if you haven't hit one or move forward on your goal in a long time. Ask yourself what is in the way? Do you have like limiting beliefs that are getting in the way? What's going on? What's, what's, what's what? What is creating the stagnation that is happening in your life? So determine, you know, you can even determine if your actions or lack of actions are aligned with your values. And maybe it's because you had this goal and then you realize now maybe your life has changed. Maybe you're in a new season of life that it no longer aligns with the values that you have and you're like, crap, I have this goal and it no longer aligns with the values and the beliefs and how I wanna live my life. And so I just feel like I'm stuck when in reality you just need to make a very conscious decision. I am going to leave this goal. It no longer aligns with who I am as a person. I cannot continue to pursue it. And you just need to like make that decision. You can't just be like, oh well I stopped so that's me making the decision. No, you gotta like consciously decide, okay this, that this is the reason and then move on and then have a new goal that does align with your values and beliefs and, and the way that you wanna live your life right now. You know what I mean? And if you are making progress towards hitting your goals, are you making it towards these things that you feel like actually matter most to you? Or do you feel like you're just chasing a goal that actually no longer matters to you? Maybe, maybe it just doesn't matter. Maybe it just feels frivolous now or, or pointless, useless even. I've definitely had many of those recently and I would say within the last year where I had a goal to come out with a whole stationary line and I feel like that's still kind of a goal that's in my heart, but it's like on the back burner now because it is no super passionate about or I feel like is really realistic right now. And so for me it's like I had to cut myself off like kind of like one fourth of the way through that goal because things just changed and, and the way that I wanted to live my life kind of like changed and I no longer aligned And I'm like, well maybe it'll align in the future but not right now. And so, you know, I had to really decide like this is not what matters most to me right now. What matters most to me is other things and overall with your goals and you know, making recent progress, ask yourself like do any changes need to be made? If you still like your goals and you are making progress and you are moving forward and those things align with what, how you're living your life right now, do any changes need to happen still? Maybe any positive changes, maybe you need to like, uh, up the speed a little bit on your cadence for hitting those milestones because maybe you're taking it a little slow because you're still living your life and like fear and anxiety of things not working out, even if it's based on history regardless. So ask yourself if there's anything that needs to change at all whatsoever. In the book of Matthew chapter six, verse 33 here is a fantastic scripture that I think will help you seek the kingdom of God above all else and live righteously and he will give you everything that you need. So again, if we have God as our number one, if you seek God above everything else, then he and live righteously like live a Christ-like life, you know, he'll give you everything that you need. He will help you, you know, align with the proper goals and he hit your milestones and and figure out your life. And you know the reason that asking yourself how you're focusing on the right things starts with your goals because these are the things that you are driving towards that you were trying to make happen in your life. And if you're trying to make it all happen within your own strength, you're just not gonna, you're not gonna get there or you're not gonna get there at the highest level that you could possibly if you had God on your side. So really consider that, right? If you're going after certain goals and specific things in your life, you wanna have God right there next to you cuz he will help you and it'll just be like amazing for you hitting these goals and crushing every milestone as you get there. Rather than being like, ugh, this is fine. Not as great as it could be. But you know, start up from the bottom. Now we're here kind of situation where you could have more enthusiasm and joy and excitement about it if God's helping you through it. So what are your goals right now? Have you made any recent progress? That is the first question. The second question for determining if you're focusing on the right things in your life is what am I doing every day and how important are these things? What am I doing every day and how important are these things? Determine if anything that you're spending time on is actually important to you. Yeah. So you might think that, oh that's crazy Sabrina, why would I spend time some things, spend time on things that isn't important to me because you feel like you have to do it. You feel like it's an expectation you are staying at a job that you absolutely hate cuz you feel like you have to do it and you feel like oh no, that's the only job. Like well have, have you actually been like, you know, continuously looking? Do you look every day? I know the job market may not like in within your area may not change every day, but are you making sure that you look every single week? Have you developed like maybe multiple resumes you can have like an ab test of like submitting one here for this job and submitting another here for this job and seeing like if different things catch, you know different interest happens. Like are you talked to a career professional? Have you had someone actually professionally create your resume? Like what are you doing to actually get out of this job that you hate and into something else that you want? You know, what are you doing every day and how important are these things? If you're not looking for a job every day yet you continue to complain that you hate the job that you have right now, then you really don't hate it that much and you have gotten way too com comfortable in a life of misery that it'll be harder and harder to like climb out of that pit of despair the longer that you sit there. Now if you wanna call on God and he will ask, he will help you. But you still have to do the work, you know you still have to do the work. So you know, determine if you're spending time on the things that actually are important to you, like really important to you. So if getting a new job is important to you, then spend the time figuring that out while still doing a good job at your current job. You know, don't just like quiet quit or anything like actually just do like work. Work this job as if you are working for the Lord, okay? Do everything as if you were doing that job for the Lord. That is the most honorable thing that you can do. And that is like Christ-like behavior. How are these things beneficial to your everyday life and what's coming up in the future? How are the things that you are doing every single day beneficial to your everyday life and what may be coming up in the near future? So if you do start making it important for you to find a new job, okay, well then the easy answer to that is like how are these things beneficial to you every day? It's beneficial because it's keeping your hope alive and you are focusing on finding the next best uh, job for you to have to, maybe it is just to pay the bills but you would love to like not hate it every single day. You know what I mean? Or maybe it is actually like find that job that's gonna be the stepping stone into your dream job, right? Or maybe it needs to be like a couple steps below, like however you need. Do you know that you need to get there so it would be beneficial to your everyday life cuz it's helping you continue to hit that milestone of getting that job that you want and moving forward in that and for the future. Cuz you said your future is your, your dream job is like this and you're like okay I have to continue to look for a new job and like find ways to step into that role that you want. So doing that every day, right? But if you are spending your time complaining every or you're not doing anything about finding a new one, then that is not beneficial to your every day or to your future. It actually is going to hinder you actually hitting job and doing anything really. You're just gonna continue to limit yourself. In the book of Colossians chapter three verse 23, it says Work willingly at whatever you do as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. So I really just like mentioned this, right? Cause I was like make sure you're working at everything you're doing as if you're working for the Lord and it says it right here in scripture. Work willingly at whatever you do as though you were than for people. So despite whatever crappy situation that you feel like you're in, maybe you're in a job that you hate, maybe you're in a relationship that's just seems so, so tough, maybe you're having uh, a very traumatic experience right now, a health related experience, some sort of sadness and grief has happened in your life. You're having a really hard time parenting your kiddos. Like whatever it is, you just need to do it like willingly as if you are working for the Lord and not for regular human people and have that joy in your heart and know that God is gonna help you get through this and don't give up on it and be as honorable as a person as you can and don't just decide to like, you know, kind of like be lazy about it just because you're not enjoying what you're in right now. We can't always enjoy everything. Sometimes we have to struggle and fight and grow out and change to hit that next level, that next milestone, that next progress point in our life to become our best selves and to get the goals and accomplish the goals that we want in our life. So again, figuring out if you're focusing on the right things every day by asking yourself what am I doing every day? And how important are these things? If you are doing things every day that aren't, you know, going beneficial to you and aren't helping you get to the next steps or get to the next point in your life or do the next things or benefit you and your family or whoever, then why are you doing them? And if you're not doing anything, why not? Why have you decided to just like stay stagnant by choice? And are the things that you're doing really important? And if they're not, then sub 'em out for something else that's actually really important. The next one, the next question is, when was the last time I reflected on how my life is going? When was the last time I reflected on my, on my life and how it's going? So something today that I learned, I think while also listening to the same sermon, it could have been another one. I dunno, I was listening to two sermons back to back today so it could, this part could have been from from another one. But I never really thought about ha reflecting over my day and over my life, um, with God, right? And so I would ask you how have you spent time reflecting with God and telling him everything about what's going on in your life right now or what has been going on in your life and asking him what he thinks and have him weigh in? And I never really thought about that. I spent a lot of time, a lot, a lot of time as people would expect if they know me in real life. <laugh>. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my life and reflecting on the choices that I'd make and the decisions and uh, how I decided to go about things and what advice I decided to keep and what I decided to not go with and how that affected everything and all the things. But I don't ever, I've never even done it with God, like being like, God, you know, I made this choice and I made this choice and and I feel like maybe like sometimes I have here and there but like not on purpose and I think that we should do it on purpose. And so I would ask you if, have you reflected with God and maybe not, maybe you shouldn't. I wanna do it more too and invite him in and be like, God, this is all the things that I'm going through or dealing with or choices that I've made. Like what do we think? Like I think this, but maybe I'm seeing it not from the bright perspective, you know what I mean? In the book of Romans, this is our last scripture of this episode. You guys, um, so favorite the book of Romans, which is one of my favorites, chapter 12 verse two, A very popular scripture. Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you'll learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect Again, that was Romans chapter 12 verse two. When you spend time reflecting on your life and how your life is going and you invite God to do that with you, really listen to this verse and ask you, are you behaving like the world or are you actually trying to mimic Christ-like characteristics and behavior as we're supposed to be doing? And I think you just need to honor, be honest with yourself again. If you can't be honest with yourself, you're literally honest with no one, I promise you. So we need to spend some time asking ourselves, are we allowing the Holy Spirit to renew our mind and have God change us and change the way that we think And by we have to allow God to change the way that we think for us to pull away from acting like the world because all of the actions and decisions and the behaviors that we have start in the mind. Start with what we believe. Start with what we tell ourselves. Start with who we're listening to. So when you reflect on your life again because figuring out if you're focusing on the right things, by reflecting on your life, you will be able to determine what you have been focusing on and how what that has done for you in your life and whether things need to change and whether it's been okay but not good enough. You know? And so when you invite God to that he can help you illuminate more things than you may have seen and in your just your own bias perspective. But now with God you have a wider, more like 360 view of perspective of like whether what's happening is good or not or beneficial to you and and in serving him right? And so you wanna make sure that when you reflect you're not, you wanna make sure that you are not being like the world cause we need to exhibit a higher expectation of behavior like Christ. So also within this one, I would encourage you to write down everything that means something to you and that you are involved in and write how it makes you feel. So if you feel like right now, right, your number one is your relationship and how do you feel about that? Maybe you feel like it's seven out 10. Okay, well why is it a seven out 10? What do you need to work on down to the next thing? Maybe it's your kids. You're like, okay, well how do I feel as a parent? I feel like a five out of 10. Why do you feel that way? What do you feel like you need to work on? Can anyone help you with that onto the next thing? So really just write everything down. Just kind of like have like a, like not a word vomit, just a brain dump, <laugh> brain dump, write everything down and everything that like, that you know really means something to you that's really important and everything that you feel like you have to do and it's just uh, just there in your everyday life. Rate it all and then figure out maybe like where things can change and shift and why you feel the way you do. And maybe it just needs to be a mindset shift that'll help make that thing not so sucky and not having you focus so much on the negative but more on the positive and like having the hope and more peace and less stress and less anxiety for your life. Um, so do that. That would be really helpful in helping you figuring out if you're focusing on the right things. Number four, next question. Who am I spending most of my time with? Are these people? Are these people that provide support and inspiration? Who am I spending most of my time with? Are these people that will provide support and inspiration? If you are spending time with no one, that is a problem. And if you're spending time with people that needs to be examined. So do you need to find a better group of people to spend time with? Do you feel like the people that you spend time with right now are beneficial, are helpful, are not necessarily pushing you to, you know, go head first into your pit of despair and have all of these like, you know, sad negative feelings. And I'm not saying it's bad to feel sad, you can feel whatever emotions. Like even you know, like God recognizes that we're gonna feel a myriad of different emotions. It's just a matter of how we act on it. So you can feel sad but don't go and just like wallow in your sadness because that's not gonna change anything. It literally is not. You're gonna feel your emotions. He has to feel them. But like don't take action on them. Often your emotions are like that crazy bus driver. And I always talk about how our emotions driving the bus, it's like a party bus and they're not driving legally at all. They're like reckless. If you decide to lead your life with your emotions at the front driving it is so reckless. It is incredibly reckless. And believe me, I'm the person that says you need to acknowledge and on your emotions, you need to do those things, but don't use them to determine what actions that you need to take. So back to the main thing. Do you need to find a better group of people to spend time with? Do you feel like the people that you do currently spend time with are good people, are helpful, people are beneficial people, you guys can lean on each other, support each other and be there for each other. But maybe are you lacking people that support and inspire you in your life? I personally feel like I'm in that boat. I feel like I lack any like real in real life person friends. I have a lot of like friends online and I have friends that live across the country all over. But in real life I need people here and I am struggling to do that. But it's also because I'm not putting in as much work not taking that as much action as I need to to find those people. And I need to do that. And I would love to have people that I could call up and text and be like, you know, truly I just want someone that I can send like funny gifts to and funny tos to. And then also let them know that I might need prayer and then they'll pray for me and then I'll pray for them and all of that. That's what I really want and I'm lacking that right now. And so when we lack that, that could be another thing that we focus too much on, on the sadness and this like empty spot in our heart where we're like, I really wish I had friends. Because despite the fact that even if God is like your number one, like his, for me, it still like hurts a little bit cuz you're like, I really want someone to bond with and have the community with and share like the excitement that you have when you read a passage and you understand it in a certain way, it's just exciting, you know? Or you just wanna tell someone some good news. It's, and it, it can feel really empty. So ask yourself, like if you're focusing on the right things, you will have the right people in your life. You'll have people that support you, you have people that you can lean on, you'll have people that'll inspire you and they're truly there to cheer you on. So if you're looking for those people like me, I totally understand, just keep looking, put in more time and act and action. I need to do that. If you have people in your life really evaluate if these are the best people to be in your life or right now, sometimes you might need to like have people step out of our close circle just for a season or sometimes we just to walk away because that's not the best. We still wanna respect them and, and honor them and and pray for them and um, you know, maybe be like an acquaintance. But having them in our close tight-knit circle, if they're kind of like causing trouble, lacking support, not being inspiring, not there when we need them only there when they need us, you might wanna rethink those relationships. Okay, number five. And the last question that you should ask yourself if you're trying to figure out are you focusing on the right things? Is have you been taking care of your mind, your body and your emotions? Have you been taking care of your, your body, your mind and your emotions? I encourage you to make time for prayer and setting the Bible. Absolutely. So if you're gonna talk about taking care of yourself, you should do those two things because knowing the word allows you to be prepared and be ready with scripture. When the devil tries to be tricky, when he tries to like pop in these thoughts into your head when he tries to convince you to believe lies and opinions that other people say, and I'm not saying opinions and lies are the same thing, I'm just saying it like both of those things and then maybe other things, right? And so if we make it a point to pray to God to really develop that relationship, to study our Bible and know the word and be able to pull up scripture, even if we don't necessarily know the correct address, like where it came from, like the book and the, and the verse and the chapter. If we know it in our heart and we believe it and we're like, you know, when I kinda like paraphrased uh, the, the verse in Colossians at first it's like we know it and we know it's truth so we can still say it and we can still throw that out as our weapon of choice against the devil and be like, listen, you gotta go. Yeah, gotta go because it empowers us so much. So I encourage you if you really wanna look into like taking care of your mind, your body and your emotions, spend time praying, getting to know the Lord, developing that relationship there and studying your Bible, studying your Bible can be really fun because it just is <laugh> and there's so many good like stories and, and parables and understandings and and accounts and if you get the right versions, sometimes they say it in such a dramatic way that it just hits different. And that's how the new living translation can be often. So make the time for that. Also ask yourself if you're taking on too much, maybe you're focusing on doing too many things for everyone else. Not doing anything for yourself. It's a common occurrence. People pleasing is an epidemic I feel like. So ask yourself, are you taking on too much? How is your physical health right now? Do you need change? Do you need to like kind of tighten up in the things that you're eating? Maybe you're getting a lot of headaches but you also see the correlation between eating a lot of sugar. Maybe you feel like you're getting outta shape and maybe it's because you are eating more sugar. And often I have been like, you know, like really like diagnosed with adhd. I do take medication every day and I saw a study and it actually was backed up by my doctor that supplies my medication that uh, prescribes it that I often will go and want to eat like a sweet treat cause I'm looking for that dopamine high. Cause I just need that little boost when I really need to find something else to do that will like fulfill that. That's not candy, that's not gonna like torch my system or add to the belly fat that I already have <laugh>. You know what I mean? And so we really need to figure out like, are we taking care of our health? And so I would tell myself like, I need to really back up on the sugar. And I've been trying to do that because if we're focusing on just, you know, eating things for comfort, right? Or maybe you are trying to quit smoking. And so that's what your thing is. You do when you're stressed and you're feeling down, um, or maybe you're going overboard and working out and needing to be thinner, needing to be at certain size or fitness to certain things because you're so caught up in what people think of you and their opinions of you. Ask yourself, are you taking care of your body, your physical body? How is your health? How is your nutrition? How is your exercise? Is it in line with what should be good for you? And not out of control in any sort of way? On both sides? And the last one, do you find yourself reacting more than responding to situations? Something I talk about all the time, reacting versus responding. Reacting is when you allow your emotions to drive the bus. When you allow your emotions to drive the bus, you are reacting all over the place. You are allowing yourself to just like let the emotion flow out. Oftentimes, 98% of the time, I think I normally see 95%. Either way there's regret. You shouldn't have said it. You should have taken a moment in comparison to responding and you really consider is what I'm about to do or say, really beneficial to this situation? Do I really need to double down with the negativity? Do I really need to complain more? Will I actually change anything? Do I need to yell and scream at them and shake them because I am so angry? No, they might actually become more fearful, right? Like, what do you need to do? You need to share how you feel and how you might have been disappointed or sad or angry or whatever. You can say those things, but you don't need to take action in it. You don't need to yell it. You can kind of like calmly to deliver it and then figure out what you need to do next. So ask yourself, do you find yourself reacting more than responding? And you know, you're like, well, how is that gonna help you focus, figure out if you're focusing on the right things? Because if you are not focusing on the right things, like if you're not putting God first or you're not putting, like whatever you feel like should be first in your life, and it's normally like your emotions will be like all over the place because you're not actually sure about the things that are most important to you. And if things are actually aligned with your values and beliefs and how you want to live your life. And if you're spending your time wisely and if you are actually doing things every day that are important to you and that are beneficial to hitting all these goals and moving forward in your life, even if it's just to like, you know, make your life easier and have chill time. Often we allow ourselves to react because we don't have any sort of good manage management system on our emotions. We're letting them run wild because a lot of other things just fill out of place and not put together like a little neat puzzle. And not everything's gonna be put together like a neat puzzle. It's often gonna be pieces off to the side and maybe a piece missing in the middle for a time. But if they're just scattered everywhere and it's just like a disarray, like you literally just like pour it out a box of cereal and it's just a mess. Often that's when you allow yourself to react. Cause you don't have a strong handle on your emotions. And it's something that we all need to work on. I need to work on it today. I was even talking to my therapist today about how like there was situations I was proud of myself that I did respond and didn't react. But other times where I didn't react as bad as I would in the past, but I really had a different expectation of myself and I need to work on it. As simple as that, I'm being honest with myself and what I need to work on. But that's it. This is a long episode, you guys. Mm, man. Uh, so if you're here at the end, thank you. Thank you so much for listening, downloading, sharing the show, being here. Tell the tell the end. Uh, thank you so much for listening to The Real Positive Girl podcast that came with me, Sabrina. Check the show notes to come say hi to me on socials, to sign up for the newsletter to see the YouTube channel. Um, suggest a topic, do all the things, send me an email. But until next time, have a fantastic day you guys, and I'll see you next time. Bye friends.