How to Go Through the Problem, Not Around It - Learning to Persevere

Show Notes:
"God may not always remove challenges, but He will ALWAYS provide a way THROUGH them.”

This is an Instagram quote I saw recently. And it was the inspiration for this episode.

No one WANTS to experience problems or go through struggles. And when we REALLY don’t want to experience them, we sometimes go to great lengths to avoid having to experience any pain at all. 

But the best way to the other side often isn’t over, but through. We have to persevere and get to the other side of the struggle. It’s the way we learn the most, grow the most, and change the most. And each season of life is different & brings on different challenges to learn from. It’s a blast in hindsight.

I recently shared a video on socials talking about how some people believe that when they become a Christian, they think their problems will instantly disappear or at least minimize dramatically. When, in reality, the number of problems & struggles often go up because we are being tested and because we were PROMISED to struggle.

John 16:33, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

But despite the struggle, God is still WITH us when we are going through the pain because He knows it won’t be easy for us, but that it IS important we go through and endure certain things. God also brings comfort & peace in times of trouble. 

💖 James 1:2-4, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”

Christian or not, though, we must endure hard times. 

Here are my 4 steps on How to Go Through the Problem & Not Around It:

1. Identify the Problem & the Root Cause
   1. Clearly define the problem. What is the CRUX of the issue?
   2. Go a little deeper to discover the ROOT CAUSE. 
   3. We are defining the WHAT & WHY of the problem in this first step.
2. Come Up With & Evaluate Possible Solutions
   1. Spend some time coming up with possible solutions to your problem.
   2. Evaluate what solution would fit you best based on what you can or can’t do, if there are risks involved, whether it solves some or all of the problem, and if this solves the problem within your timeline.
3. Create an Action Plan & Take the First Step
   1. Create your plan of attack with a timeline attached to it. 
   2. Take the First Step 
      1. Commit to taking the first step as soon as possible.
      2. Once you get yourself in the middle of the problem/struggle, you often can’t retreat and will have to keep going. 
4. Evaluate the Results
   1. Determine if the solution and action steps you chose are working well enough.
   2. If what you decided to do isn’t working out as you hoped, shift to something different. If it IS working out, consider if you have the capacity to do more of that thing or not. Don’t give up just because the first attempt didn’t work out.

Transcript

0:03

This is the Real Positive Girl podcast and I am your host Sabrina, and I am here chatting with you about your emotions, your mental health struggles, how to take those first few steps bef uh, to become more, uh, self-aware, more vulnerable, and just being more honest with yourself and especially yourself and with others. That's important. But a lot of times we think that we don't have to be honest with ourselves and all we have to do is be honest with other people. So I am here to help you correct that and we do that two times a week here. So welcome in. If you are brand new, I hope that you are really going to enjoy this. I think that you will. And if you are not new, welcome back. Welcome back to The Parte. So today we're gonna talk about how to go through the problem and not around it learning to persevere. But before we get into that, as always, I want to invite you to take a little peek down into the show. It's below and you'll see that you can come and follow me on socials. So on TikTok and Instagram, I'm at Sabrina Joy Pozo. I would encourage you just to pop on over there, say hi, send me a DM so we can chit chat back and forth. I can get to know you, follow along. I am really getting into the cadence of sharing more podcast clips and I'm like, I think I'm like an episode or two behind right now, but still, I'm se I'm sharing like clips of current episodes while I'm in the midst of catching up with having those full video episodes on YouTube. So come see the clips so that you will soon see the whole version on YouTube. Which also brings me to my next thing is that if you look down in the show notes below, you also see the link to the YouTube channel for the podcast. You can see the whole video version of the podcast and you wanna see my crazy hand gestures or anything like that. And if you prefer to have that playing, then on like a regular podcast player and everything else in the show notes is like signing up for the weekly newsletter, which is like a cool blog style kind of thing now. And seeing that you can, um, anonymously suggest topics for the podcast, you can anonymously vent if you don't have someone emotionally available to do that in your life and so many other things. So check out the show notes when you have an opportunity for that. Um, but let's just go ahead and jump right into our main topic, the main reason that you are here, which is how to go through the problem and not around learning to persevere. So whenever I shared with someone the experiences that I endured as a child, and that would be mostly when I left my, well, I guess it did happen a little bit in high school, but mostly when I grew up and I became a young adult, went to college and then even sometimes as like a, like an adult that I am now, I, if someone would ask or the conversation led there, I often am not just like telling people what happened to my childhood cause it's kind of traumatic and it's also just unnecessary to It's not that kind of thing. And so, um. Whenever I share that what I would had endured as a child, it often brought about a response that I started to, uh, become very familiar with and kind of like anticipate because it always, it was generally always the same thing. It was always some sort of version of, I can't believe you turned out so well despite everything you went through. And it was some sort of version of that just depends on like who it was and how they said it, of course. But that's basically the same thing that people would say and you know, I just came to kind of like expect it and not like in expecting like I hope they say that it was more of like, this is probably what they're going to say right now. I'm not telling you this like story for you to uh, you know, feel bad for me or to brag about how people would respond to the things that I went through as a child at all what whatsoever. Honestly, it was just the first personal connection that I came up with when I was thinking about writing the podcast. And I often start every single episode with a personal connection to the topic and trying to be as vulnerable and transparent as I can this topic. So that'll help you kind of like figure out how you would relate in the most honest, vulnerable, transparent way. Right? Um, and you know, I found it to be actually a really great example of what happens when you do go through like struggles rather than try to avoid them and find a way around it. Like when you just like decide you gotta go straight through, right? And it wasn't even me that like realize this, you know, realized that I had endured so much and just like went straight through my problems, just went straight through my struggles. I hadn't, I had never like thought about it, thought about it the way that people were reflecting on it to me, you know, it was the people saying it to me and letting me know that I turned out better than expected, which sounds very interesting to say. And I don't think I was ever offended of course because, you know, with the background that I had and the things that people did find out that I went through and what I was currently still struggling with it, it kind of was like, oh wow, like really? Like this is <laugh>, this is how you turned out. I would expect less. And it's because we've seen so many examples in the world of people that have like a certain set of parents that are involved in certain things and neglect and all of these things and the product of that parenting often is not something, um, that is full of strength and a story to tell about like persevering and pushing through and defeating all the obstacles and like, you know, a Hallmark movie basically. And I'm not seeing my life as a Hallmark movie. It definitely was not. It's just more of like, you know, there is a typical stereotypical thought of like, parents will produce this and then they'll turn out like this. And I was the opposite of that and people were like really shocked. And I think it's also not that it truly really matters, but I think it also has something to do with the fact that like as uh, a minority since I am half black, it's also kind of shocking, especially the stuff that was happening in my life that like, oh wow, you like didn't allow those things to get you down. I didn't, I didn't. Um, which is actually really cool to reflect on now. But you know, it's never really something that has brought me pride, right? Like, like at all during that time. Like whenever it was brought up, it, it wasn't pride that I was reflecting on when they talked about it. It was relief to be honest. It was relief. It was always, I was always relieved that I was seen as like a quote unquote normal person despite everything that I went through, right? Because I was such a people pleaser growing up that I someone on the outside, someone that wasn't included, that wasn't like part of the group, the team, whatever part of the accepted, uh, population of people. And so that actually was like, oh my gosh, a few, I don't have to worry about that. They see me as a normal person. Um, that is something less for me to worry about now nowadays. I do feel proud that I wasn't able, I was able to like endure everything that was thrown at me, but during that time that I was going through those things, you know, there was not an opportunity to avoid it, especially when you're a child. You just have to like deal with like what you have to go through. Um, but yeah, as through my whole childhood of like uh, elementary, junior high, high school, all that, there was like not an opportunity to really avoid anything that I had to experience. There was nowhere to run. There was no way to like procrastinate or put it off. It was just like you are heading straight through like, uh, head on nothing else. It's just like where I had to go. There was no path like around the mountain. The only way you can get through is straight through. And I truly, you know, I never really truly knew what was being hidden inside that mountain. Like whatever the problem or the struggle was going to be because you know, that feeling of like, oh my gosh, something is about to happen and things start bubbling and it's not me being like negative was more of like, okay, a problem has begun, let's figure out like what it actually is. I would always like determined that, that I was on the edge of that and I was like, okay, here we go. We gotta go all the way through <laugh>. Um, you know, and persevering through those things. Um, and anything that I've gone through recently, uh, through my whole life, you know, has really definitely without a shadow of it, doubt made me stronger. And I'm sure that you're like, yeah, no, not big shocker. You know, yes it is has made me stronger. I'm sure anything and everything that you have persevered and like pushed yourself to get through no matter how hard, how hard well how hard it was to push yourself to get through those things, you feel stronger on the other side and that is the thing that I feel like we need to put our focus on the most is how it's going to feel on the other side because that is what's going to keep us, um, motivated and fixated on persevering, on pushing ourselves through. You know? And I know for a fact that God was on my side the entire time, the entire time of me growing up in my childhood and uh, dealing with everything that I had to deal with. You know, there were worse things that happened to other people in my family and I seem to have it like the easiest if that's what you wanna call it on the lower end of all the chaos and the drama and the drama and the drama. I had it on the lower end so I'm grateful for that. But it also sucks for the other people in my family. But there was so many things I could have gotten into or allowed to derail my life for sure, but there were only like minimal distractions. So there wasn't a lot of things to um, really get in my way of the things that I kind of wanted to do. Now again, that's not saying that my life was easy, um, but you know, I definitely know that God was like protecting me and keeping me from getting involved in too much mess. And I think it's really important to reflect on and acknowledge because it just means that even the times that I didn't realize he was there or I wasn't like fully focused on him or had in mind at all or like whatever, he's still there and that's the same for you, you know? So there were tough times growing up as a child. I'm sure many of us have times we can reflect on that and some are, you know, more difficult than others for sure. And there have been really tough times for me as like a young adult, you know, fresh out of high school going into college and now I don't even know what you call that. Like as now <laugh>, you know, young adult to like normal aged adult, to like old adult. Like when are we considering ourselves old adults? I don't even wanna know. Can we just say 50? Like that can, that feels old, but I think a lot of 50 olds will young, you know? So anyway, uh, tough times all around, you know, like we all experience tough times when we're a child, when we're young adults, when we're like aged however we are right now. And as much as it sucks to go through those things while it's happening, while you're in the midst of it, while you're like going through the middle of the mountain of the craziness, right, uh, deciding to face it head on does build us up, uh, so much with so much strength and capability and it in our life that again, we're not gonna see until later. And sometimes you won't even realize the growth that we have gained from those experiences until even much later because it, it starts like at a seedling during that time and it just continues to grow from other things that you've learned and it starts to cultivate and become this really big thing where you're like, oh my gosh, I've realized that I've grown so much and realized this or that from that particular experience. I think I'm just very excited about it. So, you know, it's all to say that it's worth it in the end. And I know that doesn't really help you if you're going through something right now, but it's really helpful to know that you've gone through things in the past. So reflect on that to keep yourself going and there's gonna be so much to be proud of at the end and it's gonna be worth it cuz you're gonna be an even better person after it's done. And that's like with everything, even if it's a small struggle, big struggle, whatever it is, it's, you're gonna be so much better after that whole thing after you have persevered and pushed through. And so, um, here is like a quote that I recently saw on Instagram and his actually was the primary inspiration for this episode. It says, God may not always remove challenges but he will always provide a way through them. God may not always remove challenges, but he will always provide a way through them. So you know, no one wants to experience problems or go through struggles as I mentioned before. No one wants to do that. Like that's not, that's not fun. Like we're not like, hey let's give me another problem to solve. Actually sometimes I am like that but like I don't want a big life struggle. Like I'm not signing up for that. I'm not waiting in line hours before the store opens for that kind of thing. And you know, when we really don't wanna experience those problems, those struggles, we sometimes go through great lengths to avoid having to deal with them at all whatsoever to experience any pain at all. We're trying to avoid the pain because we've either had a bad experience with dealing with it in the past or it just doesn't sound fun. You know, maybe we're new to dealing with like adult struggles cuz you know how the struggles we had when we were growing up as a child and like school are much different than even the problems that we'll experience as a college-aged student as we'll. Experience as like a, you know, a young adult getting married, having kids doing all the things, uh, finally attaining our dream job, whatever it's right. And it can be really scary if we don't know what kind of pain we're in for, for whatever the struggle or the problem is, the experience. It's, it's very overwhelming. And so, you know, we will go through great lengths to avoid all of that. And this would be considered trying to go around the problem and not decide to, and not decide to push through the problem, which is the better option. Obviously that's, this is why we're here, but the best way to, you know, get to the other side often is not over but through. And I know sometimes we might find an alternative way for us to get over our problems, our struggles and it might take longer, but we endure less pain, less uh, hurt, less loss even, right? But it's still not worth it because what if you get caught up in something and then you end up having to go all the way back and still go all the way through. It's just, and it's, I I like to do things efficiently and so going over your problems and spending all this extra time to figure out all this extra stuff, it's just not worth it. It's worth it just to go straight through. It's worth it just to make a plan and go on that path and keep going until you get to the other side and just continue to pray <laugh> and know that God's gonna be with you and ask for help along the way. And it's way better, it's way better than trying to like find all these crazy routes and really waste your time creating plans to avoid pain when you probably could have been done with it already if you'd just gone straight through rather than trying to create all this big drama and stuff that's not gonna help you in the long run. You know what I mean? So we need to, we have to persevere and get to the other side of the struggle, right? And it's the way we learn the most. It's the way that we grow the most. It's also the way that we change the most in the ways that we need to change, in the ways that we may not realize now that we need to change. And a lot of times we are not very aware of the ways that we need to change or we decide to stuff those in a closet and not acknowledge them at all, you know what I mean? <laugh>. So, um, in each season of life is very different too. So keep that in mind and cuz it'll bring on different challenges, uh, to learn from. You know, like I said, like in your, in your childhood or even your, in your young, young adulthood, there are lessons to learn through those struggles, but those are gonna be vastly different from anything you learn in college or anything you learn when you become married or get married, become married when you get married, or when you decide to start a family or open a business or end a friendship or like whatever it is, different seasons of life, different learning lessons, different opportunities for growth and change. You know, in hindsight, in hindsight it's a blast. It's a blast to be like, oh my gosh, look at all those things I did. So, uh, we continue to become our best selves when we don't take shortcuts and we take in all the pain that we are focusing on fostering in our life with, wait, sorry, we take on all the joy. I just said all the pain. I'm sorry. We take on all the joy that we are focusing on fostering in our life. Let's hope we're not fostering pain, we're fostering all this joy, but we need to take that in with the pain that might come alongside it that might actually turn into more joy later. We just don't realize it right now. You know, kinda like letting go of a relationship or a friendship or saying goodbye to a job or, or doing whatever. We don't realize that we will find joy in those decisions later, but right now it's pain, you know? So kind of thinking about that also recently I shared a video on socials talking about how some people believe that when they become a Christian they think that their problems will instantly dissolve <laugh> and just disappear or at least minimize dramatically, right? this is gonna be great. I'm gonna ask Jesus into my heart, I'm gonna be Christian, I'm gonna do all the things and all my problems are gonna go away because all Christians just seem happy and like life is just easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? Not, not correct, not correct <laugh>, you know, it's actually the reality that the number of problems and struggles when you become a Christian and ask God into your life and ask Jesus into your heart and you just, you live for him, uh, your problems actually go up because you end up being tested more. And because in the Bible it actually promises us struggle and it's also another demonstration of the greatness that, uh, Jesus showed us here on earth by coming down here as a human and then dying on the cross fruit to forgive all of our sins and then going back up to heaven and all of these things and helping us create that connection um, with God, like with the Father through Jesus and all of these amazing things, right? So, but we are promised struggle in the Bible. And so I just want you to know that and actually grasp that because if we are able to just accept that as aspect because it is in the Bible, then it'll be a lot easier for us to realize like, okay, we're gonna have struggles. And not in like a negative way, like, oh my gosh, life is just gonna suck because we're promised struggles. So now everything is gonna be difficult and I shouldn't have a positive outlook. That's not true at all. We can still have a positive outlook and we are actually told to like find the joy in going through these struggles and this pain because God is with us and he will help us alongside of it and we'll be able to also share in the wonderful good glory and help and blessing of God helping us get through these struggles. And it again, it'll just having us sh uh, shine him, he is shining through us <laugh> that sounded so awkward then and able to demonstrate his glory through us, helping us get through all these things and continually point more people towards Jesus and giving their life to Jesus. So in the book of John chapter 16, verse 33, it says, I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me here on earth, you'll have many trials and sorrows, but take heart because I have overcome the world. Again, that was John chapter 16, verse 33. So Jesus was speaking like with the disciples and they were finally admitting this is the context that you will need. Jesus was speaking with the disciples and they were finally admitting that they believe that Jesus came from God and they no longer are going to question him about their own. They're like, okay, we believe and Jesus was letting them know to like be prepared to soon like embark on their own things and that in doing so they will experience, uh, struggle and pain, but that they don't need to worry too much about it because God has, uh, Jesus has already overcome the world. He's already overcome it by like, you know, being here on earth with us. Um, and then, you know, living here as a human and then dying on a cross and then going back to and returning to heaven. So he has, he has, and at that time he had died yet, but he, he is going to, he's already like knows like this is like this is what's happening. I've already overcome the world so don't even worry about it, but you will have struggles and it's gonna be fine. You're gonna get through them. I will return to you, I'll be gone for a little while back. <laugh>, you know, having this whole conversation with them, um, before everything starts to happen, before he starts to get accused and arrested and all these things. And it's just amazing that he is. I just like how Jesus is just like, Hey listen, it's gonna be hard, but I'm still gonna be there to help you. I'm still gonna be there to, I got your back, don't you worry, you're gonna get through it. Have faith and hope in me. This will also be a test and a demonstration on how And uh, and you are just sh showing your love and dedication to me. And I think it's great. It's, it's a, it's, it's definitely like a show of love from like both sides. So just so you know, if you were considering like committing, committing your life to Jesus, you know, I absolutely think you should absolutely, like I'm, I'm not gonna talk you outta that, but do it for the right reason, okay? And not because you think life will be easier because Christians might pass off their life as like super easy. Um, sometimes it is easy and other times it's really difficult and other times, you know, we are crumbling inside but our faith is so fixated and our hope is in Jesus so heartily that we are able to still display our joy despite what's happening in our lives. So kind of keep that in mind. Um, but Christian or not though we must endure hard times like we will, we just will. You know, whether you believe what the Bible says that we are promised those things, you just know that you are because you have probably already. And those hard times will make us better. They will and we will be grateful for those experiences when harder times come like in the future. And those past times that got us ready and kept us aware, those are gonna come in clutch. So today I'm going to share with you four steps on how you can push and persevere through your problems and struggles instead of trying to go around them. So going through the mountain and not around. But before that, as always, let me give you my quick disclaimer. The tips and advice that I'm about to give you is all based on my own research and knowledge and my experience and the experiences of others I'm able to share. If you find that what I'm about to share does not align with what you believe will be most helpful in how to go through the problem and not go around it, then I suggest that you seek a counselor or a therapist and you can have that one-on-one time to figure out what would better align with you to figure out how to better persevere, how to better go through your problems and not around them and really just have that conversation with them. If you don't wanna do that, I suggest that you go to our best friend, say it out loud, Google and just type in some keywords. Uh, the keywords that I think that you could type in are like how to persevere, how to not give up in times of struggle, like those kind of things. And then you'll find a myriad of like videos, other podcasts, blog articles, social videos, all the things that will help you figure out what would better align with you than what I'm sharing too today. Okay, so here are my four steps guys. We have four, four like I feel like lately I've been coming out with like seven or eight<laugh> and normally it's five, but today's four, I was like, no, no, no, let's consolidate, let's just be efficient here. Four steps on how to go through the problem and not around it. Let's jump on in. The first one is identify the problem and the root cause. Identify the problem and the root cause. So clearly define the problem. This sounds very simple, it should be, I feel like this one will be the most simple of all of them is define the problem, what is the crux of the issue? So today we're gonna, I have already prepared an example problem. I rarely ever do this. I usually just try to like think on my feet and that's kind of like not the best way for me to do that always, but I is a good way for me to practice improv. So today's example problem is you racked up too much monies on your credit card and now you can't pay it off. So imagine just like spending, spending, spending and then not realizing that you overspent and you just, you know, that responsibility kinda like floated away. I feel like you know, it's okay we're not judging anyone, I'm just, it happens, right? It's happened to me before. So you racked up too much on your credit card and now you're struggling to pay it off. This is the problem that you're experiencing. So we're gonna go through all four steps with this example problem in mind, but keep in mind that it could be any problem really. You could be dealing with a problem regarding a communication or a confrontation with someone that maybe like you don't, it's a real hard conversation that you don't wanna have and you don't really know what to do with it or that they wanna have with you. Maybe you're procrastinating putting something off, maybe you are just filled with fear and scared of how something's gonna turn out and that's your problem and struggle. Like uh, it could be so many things. It could be a mental health problem, it could be a problem at work, like whatever it is, these steps will apply to it. But this is just the random problem example that I have chosen for today. So clearly define the problem, figure out like what is the crux of the issue? And so go a little deeper to discover the root cause. So for our example problem, it's like what's the problem? The problem is that you overspent on your credit card like you've maxed it or you're almost to max but you don't have enough money to pay it off if you are in the habit of paying it off monthly to avoid having to pay interest. And so now you're like in a Pele, you're like this is the problem. I don't have enough money to pay my credit card off. This is where we're at. And the, if you go a little deeper to discover the root cause, you wanna ask questions like how did this become a problem or become your problem? So in that case it's like if it became a problem and then all of a sudden it became your problem, then you wanna like define both of those questions. You know, it's like okay well when did you know your kid start? Like, like let's say it's a problem with your kid at school. It's like when did your kid start cheating on tests or bullying someone at school or having this problem, right? And then you know, when did it become your problem? Meaning when did you realize that it's a problem that you actually have to deal with? And so you can kind of like analyze how long it's been going on and be like, oh my gosh, okay it's been going on for four months or six months and now we have to evaluate all the damage that has been done in that time and like how this all came to be. And so how did this become a problem? So again, for the credit card it's like okay, well you just continue to spend without checking in with how much you've spent so far and whether you have enough money to actually cover that. Because normally if you have a credit card, you have it to either like have that extra room or you have it so that you can get the benefits of the credit card and then you pay it off and you only spend money that you actually have in your bank account. Uh, another question is were there ways to avoid this becoming a problem? So were there ways to avoid you overspending on your credit card? Yes, evaluating whether you had enough money to pay off your credit card at the time right before purchase and then maybe deciding not to or if the problem was with your kid at school, it's like, uh, were there ways to avoid this pro this becoming a problem? Yeah, maybe, maybe checking in more with your kid, um, at and how they're doing in school or maybe you already do that. So maybe it could have been like, okay well you know, I guess I should have checked in more with the teacher or maybe they should have told me if they saw this happening sooner. You know what I mean? Um, and just kind of like figuring out, you know, how could the problem been avoided? Don't focus too much on that. Don't like, you know, like worry or have anxiety over that. It's just really like thinking are there ways that this could have been avoided? Just to kind of tuck that away for later for the future if you run into this problem again and then also dig below the surface of what is actually happening so you can find the root cause. So for our example, problem of spending too much on your credit card and not being able to pay it off the root cause is not having the discipline and the responsibility to check and see how much you've already spent and whether you have the money to cover that plus whatever else you are trying to buy. Also we are, it's just really thinking about this first a step is really just defining the what and why of the problem. So what is the problem and why does the problem exist? So number one, identifying the problem and the root cause. Number two, come up with and evaluate possible solutions. Come up with and evaluate possible solutions. So spend some time coming up with possible solutions for your problem. So if the solution for your problem, for our example problem is like minimize expenses with downsizing luxuries and setting a budget for everything outside of paying your bills. Uh, move debt to a zero interest credit card so you can pay it off easier without having to pay interest for a certain amount of time. Get another job to make additional money for now on for a little bit to pay down the debt, uh, get a loan to pay off the balance immediately and create a payment plan with whoever the lender of the loan is. There is a myriad of solutions for needing to, you know, get this credit card back down to zero. If your problem is procrastinating on creating a presentation or writing a paper or doing some sort of like prep work, maybe your possible solutions is to break up however much work you have to do and to smaller chunks and then assigning a time block to work on that chunk and then take a break and then assigning another block and then taking a break and really just breaking it up so that you don't feel like you're overwhelmed with having to do it all at once. Um, if the problem is with your kid at school, possible solution could be having some sort of like weekly check-in system with the teacher and um, trying to figure out how you can have a more honest conversation with your kiddo every single day and really get to the nitty gritty of what's going on and what they're struggling with and maybe their whole reason why they're doing whatever they're doing. Um, so really just like come up and evaluate the best possible solutions for your problem and the sooner that you get to step number two to actually like come up with solutions, the more that the weight of the stress will start to like melt away a little bit because you're like, oh my gosh, there are ways to fix this problem as opposed to like sitting on the outside of the problem on the outside of the mountain, fearing it, having anxiety, having worry, like really building it up and you like to find it. You figure out like the what and the why and then you get to what can we do about it? And then it's like, okay, there are things that we can do about it. I don't have to feel so stressed, I don't have to feel so anxious about it, I can just be like, okay, let's clinging to a really good solution and then move forward. So evaluate what solution would fit best based on what you can or you can't do. Like what you reasonably physically can or cannot. Do mentally, whatever if there evaluate if there are additional risks involved. So for our example problem, if you decided to open another credit card with a 0% interest, the other risk is you um, not paying off that balance before the interest kicks in. That is the risk that you're like, oh, also the risk is applying for a credit card and getting that ding on your credit score or maybe not even like putting all your hope in that solution and then like not being able to get that card because of your credit. You know what I mean? Like assist, I mean assess whatever the risks are for the solution that you choose. If there are any, maybe there are none and that would be great, that would be fantastic. Um, evaluate whether it solves some or all the problem. So for your credit card thing, maybe there is a card that you wanna get and it only takes half the balance. So it's like only solving some of the problem maybe in your taking away all your luxury like monthly expenses, maybe that only covers like a partial payment. It doesn't help you solve your whole problem of being able to pay off your debt quicker. If it's a problem with procrastinating, um, maybe putting it in chunks only solves part of the problem because then you feel like you need to be able to see the whole project altogether and that kind of like splits your focus too much and so you don't feel like you're gonna do as good of a job. So you need to find a way for you to still have a total view of the project while also working on it in a segment so you don't get overwhelmed, but so that things still like gel together, you know what I mean? Um, and ask yourself if this solves the problem within your timeline. So if you have to get your presentation done tomorrow, then you're not gonna be have the luxury of just being like, oh, well let's think about this for like an hour of like what we can or can't do it. Like you just have to like make decisions quick. Um, in regards to the solution for the credit card, no for spending. If getting a credit card with zero balance and you're gonna transfer it over does solve your problem of getting it down like sooner and having to like interest continually rack on top of what you already owe. And if that helps you within a timeline of needing to fix this so it doesn't damage your credit too much, great. Or maybe the solution is like cutting back on luxuries that you're spending every month. Um, if you, I don't know, I mean that doesn't really apply to the timeline. So there are gonna be things where it's like, oh yeah, it doesn't really like bother the timeline. Um, because if you're cutting back on things that you don't necessarily need, then it's not like, oh my gosh, I need to add them back within this amount of time. But maybe there is something that you cut out of your budget that you will need, but you don't need it right now and you need to like, you know, restore it at a like three, six months down the line. You have to find out if your solution is gonna fit within that timely. Does that make sense? So come up with and evaluate possible solutions that will help you solve your problem. Number three, create an action plan and take the first step, create an action plan and take the first step. So create your plan of action or a plan of attacks, excuse me, plan of action. Create your plan of attack with a timeline attached to it. I like timelines because it is built in self-accountability and sometimes that is what we need to get stuff done. So when you develop your plan, make sure it has all the steps needed to accomplish your goal of solving your problem and make sure that there is a timeline associated with this plan. Or you might put it off or like lose um, interest or give up in the middle of the plan cuz you, you just, you need to have checkpoints, you need to have milestones that you can hit, you need to have these things that will immediately spark a little bit of motivation while you use your discipline to just like get it all done and to focus on actually taking action and getting in helping you solve this problem and, and get through it. So for our example, problem action plan, it could be to evaluate all expenses via like the bank statements and evaluate and eliminate anything that is unnecessary. So if you don't need the subscription to every single streaming service, if you don't need that gym membership that you actually never use <laugh>, you know, like if you have things that come from Amazon every single month but you don't use them all, you end up wasting them. Just kind of thinking about things that you can pull back on, create a budget for groceries, for toiletries and anything else purchased regularly that is not included in your bills. You know, really kind of like have that and have a spending limit on these unnecessary things that you don't need. So you know that you can only spend like an extra $50 every single week at Target, not $200 every time you go to Target, you know what I mean? Uh, start paying your card off as much as you can until you get back to paying this minimum payment. And you know, this might also require for you to add in like a way to temporarily make extra money on the side as well. That could be part of your action plan. Uh, then start to pay more than is required and keep doing that as often as you can until you come to the point where you have paid off your debt or you know, you can pay off the balance every single month. You've kind of like kind of break even kind of point. So that would be like an example of an action plan if you had the problem of spending too much on your credit card and needing to figure out a way to pay down this debt, right? So you have to think of your own action plan. If your action plan is needing to get your presentation done, it's like okay, I'm gonna get this chunk done by this time and then I'm gonna take a short break and then I'm gonna get this chunk done by this time and then I'm gonna take a short break break and then I'm gonna schedule someone to review it and then I'm going to create the slideshow and then I'm going to um, have like another review and then I'm gonna do a quick run through and practice and then check for spelling errors and all these things, right? You're just like, I'm gonna do this, this, this, this, this. And really just like write every single thing out, especially if you're a one to kind of like miss something. Make sure it's as detailed as possible with a timeline of when things are gonna happen. So it'll keep you on course on track, especially if you have a lot of other things happening in your life. It's nice to just have this nice written plan. So create your action plan and then take the first step. You gotta take that first step. I want you to commit to taking the first step as soon as possible. Please, please, please. And once you get yourself in the middle of the problem and the struggle where you've taken a few steps, you're in the thick of it, you often can't retreat and will end up just like keep going. So get yourself tied up and committed to the bit <laugh>. That's what I like to say. Commit to the bit. Just get yourself really tied up in the problem in the situation. Like actually going through it and pushing through and then you'll stop in the middle and you'll turn around and you're like, oh my gosh, now I'm in the thick of it. Just keep going forward. I know that like maybe you could, maybe you could retreat, maybe you could give up, maybe you could be in the thick of the problem. You've created an action plan, you're taking steps, you're moving forward, you're figuring out like why you got yourself in this mess and now you're finding your way out and you might wanna be like, Nope, I wanna give up. Nope, I've done all the work. This just feels like too much. But ask yourself if you discover that this problem actually does need to be solved, there is no way around the mountain you have to go through it. You cannot go over or under or around. You have to go through it. Do you really wanna do that first 50% of work again when you're already 50% of the way through? Why not just keep going? You can see the light on the other side and even if you feel like you can't, it's there. I'm telling you it's there. So don't give up, don't stop in the middle, just keep going. Follow your action plan, follow the timeline. Tell yourself it's going to be worth it once you get to the other side. And then you don't have to repeat things, you don't have to do them again cuz that's really annoying <laugh>. So just push yourself to continue to go through and you know, sometimes hopefully this will help, sometimes anxiety and stress, and I kind of only mentioned this a little bit ago, sometimes anxiety and stress will dissipate as you start to take action and see progress being made. And you might not see your issue as difficult as you originally believed. You know when you're on the outside and you're like getting yourself all worked up and fearful and scared and then you get into it and you're like, oh, this isn't as bad. Maybe you get to the middle of it, oh this is kind of bad. You get three quarters of the away. My goodness, this needs to get over. But by that time you are almost free and clear. So just keep going. And you're like, oh my goodness, I'm so glad that I got through that cuz now you can put it behind you and you can glean all the information and knowledge you can to future for whatever happens then. And you're good to go. You are golden. So create an action plan and take the first step as soon as possible. Number four and the last one that I have to share with you. Evaluate the results. Evaluate the results. So once you've done all the things so far, so you have, uh, identified the problem and the root cause and then you came up with an evaluated possible solutions and after doing that, you created an action plan and you took action steps, you took those steps forward. Now you need to evaluate the results even if you're in the middle of it. So determine if the solution and the action steps you chose are working well enough. Like is this actually getting you through the problem? Is this actually solving things? Is it actually making things better? Is it, is it being a benefit to the whole thing if what you decided to do isn't working out, which can happen? And I don't think you should fear that and I don't necessarily think you need to see it as like a mistake or a failure. It's just, it just didn't work out that I didn't work out. Happens all the time to so many people. So if it didn't work out, shift to something different, which is why you should have like a list of solutions so that if the first one didn't work out, you can go to the next. You can kinda like prioritize them. I didn't really mention that in that section, but that's a good tip. Prioritize your solution so that that one doesn't work. You can just go down the list or just do multiple at once if you are able to. And then you can see what works. So if it's not working, shift to something different. If it is working out, consider if you have the capacity to do more of that thing or not. Do you have more time to spend working on the presentation, right? Do you have more time to spend volunteering in your kids' class so they feel like you're actually a part of their schooling? And that's what they need. They need that deeper connection, right? Uh, with our example problem. So the example problem evaluation would be maybe you didn't eliminate enough unnecessary services that get charged each month and need to see about cutting out a few more. Even if it's just like for a temporary time on a timeline, right? Maybe the budget you set feels too low for like your groceries and your toiletries and things like that. And you need to swap out like your morning coffee, shop coffee. You know, you go to the Darby's or the Dutch Bros or the BlackRock or whatever, maybe you need to like take a break from that and use that extra cash for the things that you need to boost your grocery toilet tree budget, budget or whatever it is. Or maybe the extra job you took on is really helping. Maybe that extra job is like really, really helping you and you're making fantastic money and they've offered you to work more hours and so maybe you need to consider if you have the time to work more and then you could pay off your debt faster. So sometimes the results can be working really well and offer you a boost in those same results in doing more. And sometimes they just are not working. Those solutions are just not working as best as you thought or as quick as you needed to or whatever the case. Maybe you thought that the solution that you chose was actually going to line up with your timeline and it did not and it's taking too long and you need to like get it to go quicker. So you just need to shift to something different. And that's not a problem. Uh, but that's it. Evaluate the results. So we had four tips for how to get through the problem and not get around it, which was identify the problem and the root cause followed by coming up with and evaluating possible solutions. Create an action plan and take that first step and then evaluate the results from the solution that you chose. So, and figure out where to go from there. So I really hope this has really been helpful on how to know how to persevere, how to go through your problems and struggles and not try to go around them, under them, on top of them, whatever, all of that mess, all of that waste of time. And that it'll help you to really consider the fact that it's okay that we have problems and struggles in life. Those things make us so much stronger and sometimes we'll go through things and we won't even realize it was a problem or a struggle because we've gotten so strong and grown so much that those things don't even phase us as much as they used to. You know what I mean? So I say, you know what I mean a lot, don't I, <laugh> I gotta cut that out. Um, but that's it. So thank you so much for listening to The Real Positive Girl podcast again with me, Sabrina. Uh, don't forget to check the show notes below to see me on socials, to send it for the weekly newsletter, to go to the YouTube channel to share a topic with me, event anonymous, me all the things. All the things. But until next time, have a good one and I will see y'all next time. Bye friends.